I came here tonight to read some of my old blogs and ended up almost crying at seeing how long ago that was, how much the kids have grown, etc.
Madi turns 14 one month from today!! We had the sweetest conversation today. She was saying that she couldn't imagine what her life would have been like if we hadn't adopted her...that her life is better but also that she just can't imagine it any other way. She can drive me crazy sometimes - lol, but oh how I love that girl!!! Since I last posted she is now 5 ft 5 1/2 in. tall. She has been diagnosed with scleroderma and there is still the possibility that it may be systemic - meaning it may affect her internal organs. So far she hasn't had any major problems. All of the skin that has hardened has been places not really seen, so that has been good. It is starting on one side of her face now, but we are hoping that the meds keep it from getting too bad. She will have another CT scan of her lungs soon to determine if it is systemic or not. She also has raynauds and arthritis. Her attitude is SO good about it all! 9 months of monthly IV infusions, and a year of weekly shots...ok, she didn't care for the shots so much, but really, who would? She still plans on adopting from Africa when she is grown, although her number of children has gone down from 16 to around 4 or so - lol.
Tyler is very much like the last post I wrote about him. Tenderhearted, perfectionist, loving, caring, funny, and oh how I love him! He is not growing as fast as his twin sister right now and that doesn't settle very well with him; even though I tried for a few years to prepare him for this! They are 10 1/2 now. He also has to go back to the cardiologist sometime soon because his heart has been beating too fast again. He had a cardiac ablation when he was 4 and another one when he was 6...hoping this time he doesn't have to have surgery again!! He has also been having headaches and feeling weak when he lays down...not sure if this is related to his cardiac problems or not...mentioned it to his cardiologist and he said to bring him in. We also have a neurology appointment for him to check out the headaches as well. While we are at neurology I am going to mention the OCD type tendencies and anxiety. It breaks my heart to see how anxious and upset he gets when things don't go his way. Reasoning with him does not work. It hurts me to see him sad because I know his real personality is so lighthearted and happy.
Lauren is about an inch taller than Ty now, and weighs about 7 pounds more. She has not been singing in church lately. I wish she would try again. I think her voice changed just a little and that discouraged her because she had a hard time with the last song she sang. She definitely has a God-given talent and a beautiful strong voice. I don't want to push too much, but I hate to see her not using her talent. Kinda just waiting to see what she does on her own. She is still in ballet and loves it very much. I love to see her dance even more than I love to hear her sing. She is still my spunky one ;-) Having said that, nothing makes her happier than having all of her family at home, especially if we are all in one place - like watching a movie or something. I think she puts on a hard outer shell because she is really so sensitive inside... in fact, that describes her very well. I love her so very much!
TJ is FOUR now!!! He is potty trained and is even learning to read!! I am a bit scared to teach him to read though, because on 3 separate occasions we have found him trying to order things online, and NOT small things either!! A plane ticket to Mexico, tickets to Disneyland in CA, and most recently car parts off of a Mustang website for which he says he is "getting granddaddy a new car". I am NOT letting him get hold of my debit or credit card!! He tells me he loves me at least 100 times a day and gives me a hug just as many times. He is SO cuddly - but it has to be on his terms! With our older 3 (not counting Scott, he was 10 when he came to live with us) I made it a point to tell them their life stories and how God brought them to our family, I did this from the time they were babies so that it was natural and just a matter of fact, no big deal...just how God put our family together. With TJ being so much younger, I somehow didn't realize I wasn't doing this until Madi asked me recently when I was going to tell him he was adopted...I guess I just though he already knew. So, I have begun mentioning it to him, and luckily he is still young enough that he just looks at me like "ok momma" gives me a hug and runs on to go play. I was sure I loved him from the beginning, but I wasn't sure about "starting over" when the twins who were the youngest at that time were 6 1/2. I can't imagine my life without him! I love him SO much!! He wears me out and takes all of my energy, but he fills me up with love and purpose.
My health - sigh...where to begin...and to keep it short: still have night terrors occasionally, still have spike and wave pattern on EEG during sleep. Tested positive for TB, chest x-ray was negative, so it is not active - Thank you Jesus! Trying a 2nd med for it now b/c 1st one caused too many side effects. Been having chest pains lately, get a cardiac monitor next week to wear for 2 weeks. Had to have a CT scan and they found that my thyroid is enlarged and radiologist wants me to have an ultrasound done - doing that next week as well. Hoping that if I end up getting treatment for under active thyroid that some of my energy will come back!! I have been diagnosed with spondyloarthritis - arthritis in my back (and other joints, but main problem is back). Everything with me seems to be autoimmune - my body attacking itself...which I guess goes with the arthritis, but I am ready to feel better!! I also have had a black spot in the vision of my left eye since July, so 5 months now. Had an MRI that showed 3 lesions, and I have some other symptoms of MS (abnormal feelings on my arms and legs - like water drops other times tingling, tripping over my right foot only, dizzy when I look down, and a few others). BUT doc says 3 lesions aren't enough to say for sure, so still waiting for an answer on that one. I write all of this medical stuff mainly for myself. It really does help to be able to look back and see what was happening in the past and how things are progressing/changing.
I LOVE homeschooling my kids and being home with them; but after 16 years as a nurse and 15 years as a medical foster parent I am having a hard time "finding myself"...life changes too.
Matt is still at Mt. Tabor and we love the people there SO much! He is finishing up a class to be able to be a chaplain...still searching for God's will and a good fit with the church for a part time job to meet our financial needs. We will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary in 2 1/2 months! =) I love him very much too!
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