Our church is going through the book "One Month to Live" by Kerry and Chris Shook. It is set up to read one chapter/message each day for one month. We read the days individually, Matt (as pastor) sends out an email each day and asks for feedback; and then we have a discussion on Sunday night. It has been amazing, my only regret is that with me being sick and the kids being sick, I have missed too much. And due to my own lack of prioritizing right - I have missed reading several days. BUT... I want to share about the past 2 days:
Yesterday, Matt sent out an email that said this:
Ok..simple question today…looking for lots of responses…
Which ‘sign’ do you have the most trouble obeying? Why?
Have a blessed day!
To which I replied - "The 70 mile per hour sign on I-4" ;)
He wasn't as amused as I was. Oh well. The only other reply he got until last night was from Jenn that said "Call me blonde, but what signs" Love you Jenn ;)
Matt was giving me the look last night like Jenn and I were in 5th grade giving him goofy answers to a test - lol. I think we may be in trouble on Sunday - lol... But he loves us :) Jenn did figure it out, and I did go read yesterdays message and I wrote him a "sincere" email response last night, plus he got one more from a guy in church, so he was happy :)
Synopsis from the book
4 SIGNS:
1. One Way Streets... there are 2:
1. Admit my need for God in all my life situations, especially the most difficult ones.
2. Realize that God is the only One who can lead me in the right direction.
2. Stop Sign - stop, look, and listen.
We often get so caught up in what we don't have, that we overlook the possiblilities of what God has already given to us. Stop worrying, and Start looking!
Take everything we have and give it to God - our time, talent, resources, and energy... all are God's starting place in our lives. Our willingness to surrender ALL to God activates God's intervention and blessings.
3. U Turns Allowed
Make a U-Turn from a negative direction to a positive direction
4. Yield Ahead
It's essential that we begin serving others with the blessings that God has already given us.
(That is my thoughts on the authors four points mentioned)
For me, I think the hardest two signs are the Stop Sign and the U-Turns allowed. I worry way too much and I easily overlook what He has already given me. And...I have a negative attitude WAY too much, and need to focus more on what God has for me today - the blessings, the callings, my LIFE.
And then today's reading... "Sandcastles"
It could be another post easily; but I will keep it short ;)
Symbolizes our lives as sandcastles that we pour our time, talent, energy, finances, our EVERYTHING that God has given us; and one day the water will wash it all away - Will we leave a legacy? Are we investing in eternal things or temporary things? The only true eternal things are relationships and sharing God in our relationships.
In Matt's email he asked us to write a sentence (15 words or less) for how we want to be remembered at the end of our life. In the book, it asks us to write our obituary. Starting with our as it has been so far and then continue it well into the future. What do you want to be known for when you pass on? What legacy will you leave in your relationships?
This has caused me to think seriously this morning. Some things I would have previously said were probably a waste of my time, I now consider valuable resources of my time. And some things that I stress over every day, because I don't do them well enough are probably not that important anyway.
I am going to leave this post with 2 statements - 1. How I want to be remembered and 2. What I hope to change in my life from this point on to work towards leaving the legacy that I want to leave.
1. I want to be remembered as:
Someone who loved God sincerely, showed my love for God and people in a "real" way, loved my family deeply, cared about people in need, a child advocate, an advocate for life - both born and unborn, and a person whose life people saw Jesus in; a person who leaves a legacy of LOVE - love for God and love for people.
2. How I hope/need to change to work towards being remembered that way:
I need to be more careful with the words that I say to my children. I may show them love, and give a lot of myself to them; but I know that my words hurt them at times. I need to be a better helpmate to Matt. This is one area that I think God has called me to specifically, but I probably neglect the most. I need to give more, care more, show love more to people in need. Sure I give food to the homeless, we support a World Vision Child, we do foster care... but I see kids in desperate situations on television, through World Vision emails, etc - and my kids have so many toys that we can't keep them all put away - not a great example of good stewardship. I want to teach my children to love God first and to love all people. We talk about this daily, and I wonder why when I focus on it so much they continue to fight so much. Perhaps it is because instead of taking them to visit a lonely widow in the nursing home they are playing with their Nintendo DS, instead of cleaning out their toys to give to the Salvation Army, they are playing games on the computer or Wii. Matt and I TRULY set out with the intention of teaching our kids to LOVE and to not be so self-absorbed in "today's" world - but we have gotten sidetracked on that road. I don't think I need to throw the t.v. out the door - although it really wouldn't bother me ONE BIT and I have threatened to do so MANY TIMES!! ;) I think there can be mutual ground...they can have toys and enjoy childhood - as long as they care more about others in need and are being taught to care about those in need and being taught to be WILLING to do something about it - to be compassionate and be willing to DO something to make a difference, rather than just feeling sorry for less fortunate people, and remaining where they are in their life with their "too much" stuff.
Same goes for me... I give...I give of my time, my money, my "self"; sometimes I don't know how I can give anymore - BUT if I were to let GOD be in complete control of my life, let HIM set my priorities, then I wouldn't be so stressed that I can't sleep at night. If I gave my schedule to God, I wouldn't dread looking at my calendar. If I gave my every minute and every decision to God, then I wouldn't be forced to be evaluating my life so much today - as to what needs to change to accomplish how I want to be remembered. If I lived my every moment with and for God, then there would be no question about the legacy I will leave when the time comes that the waters wash away my "sandcastle".
Worry and stress, trying too hard, not giving it to God - my biggest challenges...Loving God, loving others, showing others God's love in my life - those are the goals I want to achieve.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
sick again
Blah... I am sick - AGAIN. We went to Miami for a few days last week, and I thought at first that it was just allergies. That of course wasn't the case. I have been sick ever since. I think my biggest issue is - not having the energy to do what I need to do.
Laundry is piling up big time.
I have kept up with homeschool until today. My blood pressure this morning was 85/58 (a side effect that happens occasionally with one of my meds). SO in addition to coughing constantly, I have no energy because my blood pressure is too low.
SO... I am on the couch. Not getting anything done. At least I cleaned and dusted the T.V. and entertainment center yesterday, so the one place I am looking at is clean ;)
Laundry is piling up big time.
I have kept up with homeschool until today. My blood pressure this morning was 85/58 (a side effect that happens occasionally with one of my meds). SO in addition to coughing constantly, I have no energy because my blood pressure is too low.
SO... I am on the couch. Not getting anything done. At least I cleaned and dusted the T.V. and entertainment center yesterday, so the one place I am looking at is clean ;)
Monday, March 21, 2011
WOW
1 Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.
2-3I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to circumcision or any other rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ's hard-won gift of freedom is squandered. I repeat my warning: The person who accepts the ways of circumcision trades all the advantages of the free life in Christ for the obligations of the slave life of the law. 4-6I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.
Galations 5:1-6 The Message
Lord, in my whirlwind of living life, help me to set my eyes solely on living a life of
"Faith expressed in love"!!!
2-3I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to circumcision or any other rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ's hard-won gift of freedom is squandered. I repeat my warning: The person who accepts the ways of circumcision trades all the advantages of the free life in Christ for the obligations of the slave life of the law. 4-6I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.
Galations 5:1-6 The Message
Lord, in my whirlwind of living life, help me to set my eyes solely on living a life of
"Faith expressed in love"!!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Midterm's
I recently did my mid-year eval of the kids for homeschool. I normally do this over Christmas break, so I was a little late this year - lol. But I was pleased with their results. Our county states that we have to prove that our homeschooled children are being taught in progression and are progressing at their level of ability. I do SAT 10 tests at the end of the year to turn in to the school board, my friend Sharlene does them for me - she is a teacher at a public school. I had thought about doing 2 sat 10 tests this year, because I was concerned about where they are... but I am pleased to say that all of them progressed from last years mid-term test. I just use the free lifepac placement test for math and language arts every year in the middle of the school year to see where they are, what I need to focus more time on, etc. So... I am pleased. I did see some areas that I have neglected, and now I need to focus on that.
I am thinking about the mid-term of my life too ;) Although Matt is the one that turns 40 this year ;) (had to throw that in there) Am I learning what I need to learn from God? Am I progressing in my walk with my Heavenly Father to the best of my ability? Am I allowing Him to teach me, or am I stubbornly insisting things go "my" way? Am I ready for my "final exam"?
Let me say that I am not a "works" focussed person. I believe that God cares most about my love for Him, and my love for others than my "work". But I also believe that because I love Him, He expects me to grow and mature and progress in my walk with Him. He doesn't want me to stay where I am in my walk with him when I have the potential to do more for Him, to trust Him more, to Love Him more, to love others more, to tell others about Him more.
I had the privaledge of talking to a lady at church on Sunday who gave her life to Christ that day and prayed her own prayer to accept Christ's payment for her sins, and tell God that she wants to do better and to do what she has wanted to do for a long time - give her life to Him. She was telling me that she is brand new, and needs basic information. I was telling her some of the things that God has done in my life. It's funny... I have heard God speak to me these words "I will never leave you nor forsake you" then God confirmed it by having a friend walk up to me out of the blue and say "God says in the Bible, I will never leave you nor forsake you" WOW, right?!?! I have had God literally catch my car as it was rolling over during a car accident and set it down so gently on the ground that it didn't shake me. The engine was knocked out of the car and I walked away unharmed except for a few pulled muscles where the seatbelt caught me as the car stopped rolling suddenly and then sat back down gently on the ground. I have felt the amazing presence of the Holy Spirit at Matt's ordination service when women stood around me and the pastor's wife (unaware of me going through the process to adopt the twins through embryo adoption at that exact time) praying for me that God would give me the desires of my heart; and after 7 years of praying within 1 month I was pregnant with Tyler and Lauren. My mother in law said to me when we called to tell them I was pregnant - she said "I knew it, when the pastor's wife prayed for you to have the desires of your heart, I knew that you would be pregnant" My God is SOOOOO big, and SOOOO amazing, and has never let me down. Sure, I have had hard times, and things haven't always gone my way. There have been prayers that were not answered the way that "I" wanted. But my God has always loved me. So why after all of these amazing things do I still try to hold on to the reigns a little bit? What is the "best of my ability"? It is more than baby steps, I am beyond that. God has proved Himself to me time and time again. He has promised to never leave me or forsake me!! Yet, time and time again I find myself getting anxious over situations, having trouble sleeping because I am so stressed out. Why can't I pass the "trust" part of my life? Actually, I think it is the "letting go" part I always fail. I DO trust God. It is as if I am standing on a platform looking back at God with His never failing arms ready to catch me, and I know that I can close my eyes, fold my arms, and fall back safely into his arms... I KNOW that, I believe it with ALL of my heart; but the fear of falling causes me to hesitate. The fear of the sense of falling completely out of control makes me hold on a little longer. Lord, help me to let go, to close my eyes, fold my arms - giving you full control, and simply fall into your arms - and help me to enjoy the thrill of the fall instead of letting the FEAR of the fall keep me from enjoying the thrill of letting you catch me and take me where you want me.
I am thinking about the mid-term of my life too ;) Although Matt is the one that turns 40 this year ;) (had to throw that in there) Am I learning what I need to learn from God? Am I progressing in my walk with my Heavenly Father to the best of my ability? Am I allowing Him to teach me, or am I stubbornly insisting things go "my" way? Am I ready for my "final exam"?
Let me say that I am not a "works" focussed person. I believe that God cares most about my love for Him, and my love for others than my "work". But I also believe that because I love Him, He expects me to grow and mature and progress in my walk with Him. He doesn't want me to stay where I am in my walk with him when I have the potential to do more for Him, to trust Him more, to Love Him more, to love others more, to tell others about Him more.
I had the privaledge of talking to a lady at church on Sunday who gave her life to Christ that day and prayed her own prayer to accept Christ's payment for her sins, and tell God that she wants to do better and to do what she has wanted to do for a long time - give her life to Him. She was telling me that she is brand new, and needs basic information. I was telling her some of the things that God has done in my life. It's funny... I have heard God speak to me these words "I will never leave you nor forsake you" then God confirmed it by having a friend walk up to me out of the blue and say "God says in the Bible, I will never leave you nor forsake you" WOW, right?!?! I have had God literally catch my car as it was rolling over during a car accident and set it down so gently on the ground that it didn't shake me. The engine was knocked out of the car and I walked away unharmed except for a few pulled muscles where the seatbelt caught me as the car stopped rolling suddenly and then sat back down gently on the ground. I have felt the amazing presence of the Holy Spirit at Matt's ordination service when women stood around me and the pastor's wife (unaware of me going through the process to adopt the twins through embryo adoption at that exact time) praying for me that God would give me the desires of my heart; and after 7 years of praying within 1 month I was pregnant with Tyler and Lauren. My mother in law said to me when we called to tell them I was pregnant - she said "I knew it, when the pastor's wife prayed for you to have the desires of your heart, I knew that you would be pregnant" My God is SOOOOO big, and SOOOO amazing, and has never let me down. Sure, I have had hard times, and things haven't always gone my way. There have been prayers that were not answered the way that "I" wanted. But my God has always loved me. So why after all of these amazing things do I still try to hold on to the reigns a little bit? What is the "best of my ability"? It is more than baby steps, I am beyond that. God has proved Himself to me time and time again. He has promised to never leave me or forsake me!! Yet, time and time again I find myself getting anxious over situations, having trouble sleeping because I am so stressed out. Why can't I pass the "trust" part of my life? Actually, I think it is the "letting go" part I always fail. I DO trust God. It is as if I am standing on a platform looking back at God with His never failing arms ready to catch me, and I know that I can close my eyes, fold my arms, and fall back safely into his arms... I KNOW that, I believe it with ALL of my heart; but the fear of falling causes me to hesitate. The fear of the sense of falling completely out of control makes me hold on a little longer. Lord, help me to let go, to close my eyes, fold my arms - giving you full control, and simply fall into your arms - and help me to enjoy the thrill of the fall instead of letting the FEAR of the fall keep me from enjoying the thrill of letting you catch me and take me where you want me.
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