Matt

Well, Tyler is still doing great! Just wanted to let you all know about Matt. To those who see us often, you know he hurt himself last week when he fell off his bicycle (he was riding in the dark on a sidewalk) (My goal is to go with him, but I have only made it 3 times and wasn't with him that morning). Well, he finally went to urgent care today... 2 cracked ribs.

He is alright, they did give him some non-narcotic pain medicine that will hopefully help him to make it through his long days without so much pain.

We're Home :) :)

We are home!! Tyler is very happy to be free to roam around the house, and not be restricted to a bed in a tiny room. I am happy to be home with all my kiddos, and I am ready for Matt to be home too. I do feel like a blob today. Not really accomplishing anything. Oh well, today I am just going to enjoy my children and take a break. I declare today "Sit Around and Do Nothing Day" In fact, why don't you all join me in doing nothing :)

love you all!
Shauna

Thank God for Blonde Nurses :)

Not for my sake - lol, but my little Ty man has always had a thing for blondes. When he was about 10 months old there was a young lady in our church that had pretty long blonde hair. When she would talk to him, he would literally just stare and drool. It was the funniest thing! A few years later, when this lady would talk to him, he would either hide his face or grin and run.

Well, last night I HAAAAAAAAAAAAD to go to the bathroom. BUT because he is in intensive care they don't have a bathroom connected to his room. So my choices were to use the toilet that is IN his room, out in the open with no curtain, no lock on a door, etc. I was seriously wondering if I could beat the clock... could I go really fast before anyone came in his room - lol. But I know my luck. Just as sure as I would have tried that, someone would have come in like a chaplain or sometimes they have local pro football players visit the kids. Yeah, I knew better than to try that. So... my only option was to leave Ty to go use the bathroom outside of PICU and down the hall. Let me back up a second. Last year when he had this same procedure done, I left for JUST a min. to go to the bathroom, and he got so upset that he messed up one of the surgical sites, and they had to call the doctor to come check on him. So you see my delima. I REALLY did NOT want to repeat that situation again! Thank GOD his nurse last night was a pretty young blonde. She stayed in the room with him while I went potty, and he was totally o.k. with that :) This morning she brought him chocolate ice cream (yummy breakfast) and he grinned at her... She said I see that smile for the ice cream. I didn't tell her that the smile was really for her. It is funny, and it may sound trivial, but I am seriously glad that there was a nurse he was willing to stay with, because otherwise I would either be really uncomfortable this morning, or would have had to take my chances out in the open - lol.

This morning he is doing good. He is VERY ready to go home!!! An ARNP has already come to check on him, and she said he looked great. The only concern is that he has had a few times where his heart rate will be 120 - 130 while he is just sitting in bed watching t.v. That is too high for a resting heartrate. BUT anxiety could cause it, and he is naturally an anxious kid; and he has been crying off and on wanting to go home and wanting to see Daddy. Also, pain could cause it to go higher, and he doesn't usually complain about pain, so it could be he is hurting some and just not telling us.

They are going to have the dr. look at his EKG's from last night when he comes by. Hoping and praying that we get to go home today,because he will have a meltdown if he doesn't get to go home today!! The Nurse Practitioner felt pretty confident that he would be good to go home today.

Thank you Jesus!!

Ty is out of surgery, and everything went great! He is still groggy and has a sore throat, but the ice chips have made him happy for the moment. He was really sad at first, he kept saying "I want to go home" and "when am I gonna wake up".

Thank you all for praying!!!

I will write more later.

Shauna

update 3

just went back to surgery.

update 2

still waiting. IV in place with no tears :)

Please pray for me... this was hard enough already; then about 15 minutes ago LoLo walked into pre-op. She is having something done today too. It took me a long time to stop crying after she left. I loved her with all of my heart.

My heart was already stretched to the max with Tyler today, and now I feel like scabs have been ripped off an old wound. I'm glad to see her. But it made me hurt even more today.

Shauna

update 1

Ty's surgery has been postponed until 1:00. Other than being hungry, he is doing fine. We are waiting in pre-op, and he is playing with his cars.

God has blessed us this morning. From songs on the radio to the nurses in the hospital. Ty's pre-op nurse goes to a church that we almost went to as youth pastor 10 years ago. She knows a guy that we used to work with at a youth camp. Small world, Big God. This nurse was a blessing to me because we had lots to talk about, and that has kept my mind off of what is going on. The therapy dog came around, and Ty wasn't interested, but it helped mommy :)

On the way to the hospital this morning, Ty started crying and told me he was hungry. It broke my heart to tell him that I knew he was hungry, but he couldn't have anything to eat. At least my son will be able to eat tonight. At that moment I thought of all the moms in the world who's hearts break as they tell their children that there is not anything to eat. I think when this is over, I will look into sponsering a child through World Vision.

The biggest blessing I have had this morning is knowing that lots of people are praying for Ty and for us. Pastor Pulley and his wife came to stay with us, and even though they can't be back here where we are... they are waiting in the waiting room for us. That shows God's love in them. And I have gotten lots of emails that have meant a lot to me; but Pam, yours really blessed me this morning. We love you guys so much too, and we miss you. Coming to visit you is on the top of our list after school is out.

Getting ready for the IV now, gotta go.

Shauna

Tyler's Surgery Today

We have to be at the hospital at 9:30 in the morning, and I don't know exactly what time his surgery will start. I am going to try to put updates on here, so that everyone will know how he is doing, and what to pray for.

Please pray for his safety during surgery, for it to work this time, and for peace for me, Matt, and Tyler. Also pray for Matt's mom, as she will have the girls for us. And my friend Stephanie will have the my foster daughters, so pray for her too!

If all goes well, we should be home on Tuesday.

Thank you all for the prayers and the encouraging words you have given so far. It is REALLY APPRECIATED !!!

Love,
Shauna

My Heart's Dreams

This is a video I did 2 years ago for publicity on a petition aimed at preventing state funding of embryonic stem cell research. I LOVE this song, and think of it often as I watch all of my children growing up. "I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams, and that faith gives you courage to dare to do great things, I'm here for you whatever this life brings, so let my love give you roots and help you find your wings." This weekend I have seen Lauren share her icee with Tyler, she actually fed him with her spoon. When Tyler cried over having bloodwork done, Madison hugged him and told him it would be o.k. You would have to know Tyler to understand how sweet he is and how much he cares about other people. He will sometimes own up to doing something wrong, even though he didn't, just to get his sisters out of trouble. Lauren is SO very strong willed, but for every bit of attitude, she loves her family and God just as much. Madison puts me to shame when it comes to caring about the lost and witnessing to people.

I used to pray with the twins every night, unfortunately it is hit and miss now; but I always end with "I pray that God will help you to grow up to love Him with all of your heart and serve Him with your life." I am already seeing those plans unfold. It is the most beautiful thing a mom can ever see.

I am extremely emotional tonight with Ty's heart surgery less than 48 hours away. I am thankful... to God for giving me my children, all of whom bless my life every day. For Tyler who is the sweetest person I have ever met. I never imagined when I was going through infertility and praying for a child, that God would bless me this much.

I am scared and nervous. My prayer is "God I know I don't deserve to even come before you to ask for anything; but I thank you that Jesus made the way for me to come before you boldly to ask for my heart's dreams: Please keep my baby safe, please let the surgery work this time so we don't have to do this again; and more than anything... Please let him grow up to love you with all of his heart, and serve you with his life. I pray that for Madison and Lauren and Scott as well. Lord, you know my heart. You know how broken and humbly I come before you. I love you and always will. I can't bargain with you, because I have nothing to offer you. Thank you for my son, please heal him and use him for your glory. In Jesus name I pray. "

Safe in my arms

Tyler had to have labwork today. As we were waiting in the waiting room he crawled up in my lap and snuggled with me for the longest time. I don't get that much anymore, he is usually too busy playing. It felt so good to hold him in my arms... he is such a sweet boy, and I love to cuddle with him.

Then Ari started getting fussy with Madi holding her, so I held her for a while. She did the same thing as Ty. She leaned her head over on my shoulder and snuggled with me until they called Ty back for his labs to be drawn. I have quickly fallen in love with her, and I love to snuggle with her too.

Then tonight, Lauren was having a hard time going to sleep so I layed down with her for a few minutes. After about 5 minutes with me hugging her up, she fell asleep. She actually woke up again after that though, and is still awake - watching t.v. with mommy downstairs.

I actually get lots of snuggles and hugs every day. Even if they are only for a few seconds. I am a very lucky mommy to have all these kiddos to love on. 5 kids = 10 arms to hug me with. :)

Praise

I got up to ride bikes with Matt again this morning. It is so peaceful and quiet that time of morning (maybe why I sleep so good that time of morning too - lol). I haven't gone riding with him much, but the few times I have, I have really enjoyed talking to God during that time. This morning while I was reflecting and praying, I realized something. I spend a lot of my time trying to please God. I try to raise my children how God wants me to, I try to serve God how He wants me to, I try to be the wife He wants me to be, I try to be the pastors wife he wants me to be, etc. I know and understand that my life is so very tiny compared to the universe and eternity. I also understand that I can never be perfect, believe me... I KNOW I am not perfect, and I don't pretend to be. But yet, I find myself thinking: the purpose of my life is to live it according to how God wants me to - which is true. But what I end up doing is living my life to "please" God, and don't spend enough time "PRAISING" God. I get so caught up trying to do what He wants me to do, that I forget to Thank Him for what HE has done, or Praise Him for who He is.

As I looked at the stars and the moon this morning, with the sunrise coming up behind them, I was reminded of how mighty God is. The same God that creates every sunrise is the same God that is in control of every minute of my life. With Tyler's surgery coming up, I can't help but be concerned. I don't think God expects me not to be... even Jesus cried when Lazarus died - God created us with emotions for a reason. BUT... it is nice to know that my God is so big and powerful, and He is in control at all times. I don't know why bad things happen. I don't know why some people have more bad things happen to them than others. But I do know that God has a purpose for us all, and He never stops loving us. The same God that created the sunrise, created Tyler. The same God that placed the stars in the sky placed Tyler into my care as an embryo and knew that the day would come when he would need heart surgery. And just like God paints beautiful sunsets over the ocean, or an amazing sunrise over the mountains; He created a beautiful baby boy as a tiny little embryo and knew every day of his life even before he was created. I can't help but be scared... I am not naive enough to think that bad things don't happen to good people; and I am not ignorant enough to believe that I am "too good" for something bad to happen. But what I do know is that God has promised to "Never leave me, nor forsake me". I also know that He is an awesome God, worthy of my praise every day of my life. I know that He hears my prayers. And I pray that God will protect my baby during his surgery; I pray that this time will fix the problem, and that we won't have to go through this again. I pray that Tyler will have a fast recovery, and have no complications. And I know that God is big enough to hold Tyler, as well as the rest of the world, in His hand. God, "I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made". May I not forget to praise the God I serve, the God who holds my life in His hands; the God who creates every day for us all.

Tyler's surgery, please pray

We have scheduled Tyler's cardiac ablation for next Monday, April 27th. Please pray for him, and for Matt and I. We could have chosen to wait until June, and I was tempted to do that. But after last weeks episode where it took about 45 minutes to get his heart rate where it should be... it is probably best that we go ahead and have it done.

This is his second time having it done. Biggest risk is him coming out of it with a pacemaker for the rest of his life. Of course there are other risks too.

I was really nervous last time too, but I am just as nervous this time. I am glad that it is not more serious than it is... they don't have to open his chest - they go through the arteries in both groins and 1 in his arm; thread all the things they need to work with up to his heart, cause his heart to go into it's arrythmia, map where it is coming from, and burn that part of his heart so that it forms scar tissue and doesn't cause the extra electrical impulse which causes his heart to beat too fast. He has Atypical AV Node Re-entry.

I am so thankful to God for my children, and for their health. I know there are lots of people out there facing worse things with their kids. But I just love my little man SOOOOOOOOOOOO much, it breaks my heart to think of anything bad happening to him. I don't think I will stop worrying about it until it is over. Having said that, last year when he had the same thing done, there were lots of people praying for him and for us, and God gave us such a peace on the day of his surgery that we really were not upset or stressed during his surgery. So please pray for us again this year!!!

Tyler is such an active little boy. I don't want him to be limited in what he can or can't do physically. I hope that this surgery will help him.

Thank you!
Shauna

Quote from Tyler

"Mommy, did God paint your freckles on with a marker?"

It's funny, I have never liked my freckles... Tyler and Lauren have a few freckles across their cheeks and nose, not many at all, but when they draw pictures they often draw lots of freckles on themselves. :)

Good Day :)

I had a great day today. We went to Sea World for my birthday. It has been about 3 years since we had been, and the kids were at a much better age to really enjoy it this time. I made Madi ride the Kraken with me (roller coaster). She cried all the way through the line (I know some of you think I am mean). And honestly, I don't think she enjoyed it too much, she was pretty scared. BUT I don't think it was as bad as she thought either. The thing is when she was about 6 years old she used to ride another upside down roller coaster with me all the time. Go figure. Then we all rode a small roller coaster at the end of the day. Tyler LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED it!! He actually rode it twice in a row. I was kinda worried about his heart, but I checked it when he got off and it was fine. I'm glad he liked it. Matt and I both love rollercoasters, so the kids better learn to like them too - ;) Lauren did NOT like even the small one, but she is definately our most reserved kid when it comes to things like that.

Well, I am off to get ready for bed. I am so glad I got to spend the day with my family!! It really was a great day! And Pam and Brit... we are still gonna try to come down your way sometime soon too.

And a prayer request please. I talked to my grandfather today, my grandmother is not doing too good. She is a WONDERFUL lady that I look up to a lot. She introduced me to Jesus by her life example. When the time comes for her to go home ahead of my, I will be sad because I will miss her; but I know she will be waiting for me when I get there :) Still, my prayer is thatI can have as much time with her as possible.

Shauna

sick family

Matt came home sick today. He NEVER comes home sick, so I know he is not feeling good. Lauren and "R" (my foster daughter) also have a runny nose, but no other symptoms. Ari (my foster baby) is doing much better today, but you can still hear her chest rattle from across the room.

It's funny how things work out sometimes. I was SO upset that our cruise got cancelled, now I'm glad we're not scheduled to go b/c I don't think I could go with everyone sick. Let me tell you about Tyler too.

We had his cardiology appt. yesterday and I was really hoping we could put off his surgery until he got a little bigger. But the doctor said "we need to get this done and over with so he can live a normal, happy life". So, his surgery will be sometime in the near future. Then I came home last night and read a bunch of info on the internet. One of my questions became, how much should I limit him now. We have been letting him do pretty much whatever he wanted (as far as playing, etc). Today, he went to a friends house and went swimming, then he had ball practice tonight. When we got in the car after practice he told me he felt funny. I checked his heart rate - 180. SO... for the next 45 min. or so his heart rate would go way too fast for a few min. then back to normal, then too fast again. Finally, it has been normal for about an hour now. I got him a pillow and blanket and told him to lay down on the couch. He turned the t.v. on to basketball, and I laid down by him so he could play with my hair for a few minutes, and he is sound asleep with a heart rate of 76. Ahhhhh. I guess that is my answer that he doesn't need to do too much right now, and also we do need to go ahead and have his surgery sooner rather than later.

Oh, and please pray for me because I am supposed to have my anual health inspection of my house for foster care next week. On top of my hubby and kids being sick, we were supposed to do something for my birthday on Fri. and Sat. Sunday is always busy with church. And my living room floor is covered with homeschool stuff because I am trying to get it organized and put away (we are finished for the year). Last year when I had my health inspection, I had laundry in MY bathroom floor, and the guy told me "I know your husband is usually here for the inspection, and he makes sure the house is clean, but you don't need to have laundry in the floor." My tongue was about to be bit in half from me trying not to say anything. ARGHH!! So, I am stressed about it all to say the least.

By the way, can I tell you all something. OF course I can, because its MY blog :) My life gets hectic sometimes, and I like to vent on here, and everywhere else too ;) BUT I have learned one thing. It doesn't matter how I feel, what I think, what is going on, whether I'm happy or stressed; God is God, and He knows the plans He has for me. I am who I am, and I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. And... it's all good. :)

"find" of the morning

while cleaning out my purse, I found that the lollipops I keep in my purse for when my blood sugar drops, OR for rewards for the kids.... were gone - BUT ... I did find an old french fry.

just so you know, it is more like a carry bag than a purse; I have too many kids and too much stuff to carry a regular purse.

quote for the morning

While complaining about a bump on her head, Lauren says:

"While we were playing bowling, and I was the bowling pin..."


LOL, too funny. At least they were using a rubber ball to bowl with.

My day...Again ;)

This morning was the first morning getting up VERY early to go bike riding, have I told you before that I am NOOOOT a morning person?! But, I have to say, I did enjoy it, and I will definately be happy if I lose weight.
I am going to give you the short version of the story, because I was just told that Lauren is doing karate on her brother and sister...
Our foster baby is sick, and I was running very low on oxygen tanks after her needing it all weekend long. While trying to get everyone out the door, in the car, and buckled up, Lauren comes walking out of the house with a towel on her hand saying, "Mommy, I can't get this stuff off my hand." I look and her had is COVERED in something white. I have NOOOOOO idea what she got into, and she either is choosing not to tell me, or doesn't know what it is. I can't even think of anything it COULD be. So, in the mean time, I have absolutely lost my cool with her, and I am saying in a loud voice (nice way of telling you that I was screaming at my kid - lol) TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE GOTTEN INTO AND WHERE IT IS NOW!!! I eventually go ask Madison who tells me that (sorry Paige) it is Paige's nail polish that got left here a few weekends ago. WHEW, at least it isn't gonna kill her.
SO... with that over, we get into the car and head to the post office where I was needing a quick trip in and out, and got stuck having to re-do something 3 times, until I lost my cool again and the nice lady helped me :)
Then I go to the medical supply place to pick up the new oxygen tanks (running very low now) and there was no one there, door locked, etc. ARGHHH!! Luckily our pediatrician is right next door and I already have given them a heads up that I am headed there with her. SO... I go there. They get me back very quickly, I undress her, and lay her on the table, and her oxygen levels immediately resume normal limits. First, I AM glad that she was ok at that moment, BUT I know that it is only temporary (as in, while we are in the dr. office). So we leave there with no diagnosis. I then go BACK to the medical supply place and get the oxygen that has by this point run out, but that's ok, since she seemed to be ok at the moment anyway. On my way home I stopped to get gas, as I only had 12 miles left to go till empty. It was then that I realized that I could not find my cell phone. And I still have not found it. Retraced my steps, everything, no cell phone.
And that really is the short version of the story.

And tomorrow is another day.

Thank you Jesus for my wonderful family, even if I have bad days; I am having bad days WITH them and there are fun moments in between and way more good days than bad. Thank you for children after years of praying for them. Thank you for a husband who loves me even when I have bad days! And thank you for loving me even though I don't deserve it!

Shauna

My Day

Matt woke me up this morning (I have a hard time waking up in the mornings, and he usually has to wake me up several times before I can actually wake up enough to get out of bed) but before I could even get out of bed to get ready to go to Tyler's tee ball game, Matt told me that our foster daughter "R"s g-tube had leaked and there was formula ALL in her bed. So... I was not able to go to Ty's game because it would take so long to clean it all up. I hate missing his games. I want to be there for him, to support him, you know... because I love him. So, I didn't get to go. I decided to clean "R" up before I ate breakfast. To give her a bath, and change the sheets on her bed, re-dress her, put lotion on her, all the stuff we usually do. So I get started, and while I was getting her undressed, our other foster daughter "A" started having a difficult time with all of the congestion in her nose, throat, and chest; and had to be suctioned so her oxygen levels would go up. So I put a hold on "R"s stuff, and take care of "A". When I get back to "R", and get her in the tub, "A"s oxygen alarm is STILL going off... SO (Thankfully Madi and Lauren were helping me) I quickly get "R" out of the tub, dried off, and a diaper on; then ask Madi to finish dressing her so I can take care of "A". Keep in mind, "R" weighs 57 pounds, not easy to bathe, dress, etc. So I get the nasal canula on "A" and go to get her medicine for a breathing treatment. When I get back to her bed (10 seconds later) I find she has removed the nasal canula and has it in her hand. I FINALLY get them both taken care of and fix myself a bowl of cereal, by this point I am light-headed and feel like I'm gonna pass out b/c I have low blood sugar. I sit down to eat, and Matt and Ty walk in from the game. (I always hate when I have had a HARD morning or day, work constantly, FINALLY sit down, and Matt will walk in. I know he must think I make this stuff up - lol.

I asked for 2 things for my birthday - to get a pedicure, and to go on a daycruise with Matt. We have lined up babysitters for all 5 kids (NOT an easy thing to do). Schedules were very hard to work out. I started packing today, and getting a few things ready. (I'll cont. this story in a min.)

We had a PILE of laundry so we have all been working on it all day long. And to be honest, I was just in a crappy mood. I have had some medical issues lately, seeing 3 different specialists, all trying to find the right combination of meds for me. Every time there is a switch, it messes me up for a while. Then I do it to myself too. I was having some unwanted side effects, so I changed my own meds around a little :) Yeah, that didn't work so well. I feel HORRIBLE! I am screaming at the kids, and I don't even like myself.

I took Madi and La with me, we were gonna go get our nails done, but I just couldn't make myself spend that much $$ on something so temporary and trivial. So... we went to WalMart instead and bought the stuff to do our own manicure and pedicures. When I got to the checkout line (right on time, I might add - I had to be home in time for Matt to take Ty to his thing). The lady in front of me had 2 identical cakes. One of them rang up $3.00 and the other rang up $75.00 - obviously she was not o.k. with that, don't blame her. BUT long story short, I was in line for 30 minutes!!!ARGH!!!!! Then she paid with a check, and they had to call a manager for some reason b/c it didn't want to take it - double ARGH!!!!!!!!!

I raced home and got there 15 minutes late, and had to tell Matt quickly about the phone call I received as I was walking into WalMart - the engine on the ship we are supposed to take this Thursday for my birthday cruise, our only time in a LOOOOOOOOONG time together alone, the engine on this ship BLEW UP and they are not able to cruise at all for 2 weeks!!!!!!!!! Matt took a day off work, 3 different families changed their schedules to watch our 5 kids for us, I was all excited, and now this!!!

And for those of you who know about my birthday last year, I know this still isn't as bad, but this was supposed to be a great birthday to make up for last year. :(

I am very sad.

Lauren has been singing all afternoon (she sings constantly) "it's all about God" i don't know why she is singing that, but it must be for me.

cheap fun

The kids are always buggin us to go to Chuck E Cheese, but it can get expensive, so we have not taken them much. I had them decorate an old coffee can and turned it into a piggy bank, and told them they all could choose how much $$ of their allowance they wanted to contribute to the Chuck E Cheese fund. They had to raise $20 and then we would pay the rest. They LOVED it!!! I reward them with quarters when they help me with the house, or the foster kids, etc.; that is on top of their allowance for the chores they are supposed to do every day.

We went to Chuck E Cheese last week and had a BLAST!!!! I think they really liked it more, knowing they earned part of the $$. So here's my question. I need more ideas for places they can earn $$ towards. Right now they are saying they want to go bowling, but I don't think they are very excited about it because they aren't putting much $$ in or talking about it much. Also, I don't think they would really be able to bowl (physically) - at least not well, because the twins are so small.

We have lots of BIG places to go around here. They really want to go back to Sea World, but they would have to save a LOT of $$ for that - lol.

Any ideas?? What do you like to do with your kids??