How does he do that??

As we were doing math today, Tyler had a word problem and it went something like this:
Jane had $534 in her checking acct and she spent $295 on a couch out of her checking acct; how much $$ did she have left? He wrote the answer down. Not the problem written out.... just the answer. Madison said - "is that right" I said "I don't know! I will have to work it out on paper" Yep, he was right. He is AMAZING when it comes to math and numbers. Downside to it is that he gets VERY frustrated when he doesn't understand something right away. He is 7 years old!!! How am I ever going to teach him when he gets older???? With God's help, that will be the only way! That and virtual school - lol.

Other kid updates - Lauren is doing SOOOOOO much better in school this year. I think she really just needed an extra year to be ready. I am so proud of her! She is also becoming more compassionate lately, and that makes me even more proud.

Madi is doing better in school too! So far we have not had any fights between the 2 of us ;) We have had to butt heads several times to see who was going to be the 1 in charge. I won. Madison is just amazing. She is so grown up, so helpful, compassionate, loving, and sensitive. Lord knows she gave us a hard time when she was younger; but I am so proud of the person she is and is still becoming.

I LOVE my homeschool curriculum this year. It is Weaver by Alpha Omega. It takes me twice as long to finish school; but the kids are learning 5 times as much, so it is worth it. Not only are they learning more; they are applying it to their lives. THAT is what I want to achieve as a mom and a teacher.

Duke is doing better.

Matt has started back to school. And it is football season AND soccer season - so our lives are even more crazy busy.

I have not been feeling well the past few weeks. Extremely tired. Lots of people asking about me at church - I think I must look like I have been hit by a mack truck ;) I am FINALLY starting to feel some better. BUT... I do need to go to bed now. That is part of my problem if I don't get enough sleep. And with school in - I gotta get up early.

Oh, and I gave all the kids a hair cut tonight; I think Madi's came out really cute. I will have to put a pic on here soon. Nothing fancy, just cut it shorter; but it is very cute.

Good News For Now

Took Duke to the vet today. He did have a tumor, and she made the comment that it is "possible" for male dogs to have breast cancer, but she has never seen it happen before. They removed the tumor and are sending it out to a lab. But she seemed optimistic that he would be fine with it just being removed. As for the hips; she is going to prescribe him pain meds. She said that he really looked good for his age and he is still very alert, happy, and a part of the family; so for now - I am not having to make the decision of whether or not to have him put to sleep. That is GREAT news to me tonight!! Although he hurts from his surgery today (about a 4 inch incision) it almost seems like he already feels better.

You would think that after 14 years as a momma, 10 years as a nurse, and about 20 medical foster kids - which require LOOOOOOOOOOTS of time every day doing medical "stuff"; that I would not have any desire left to do any extra nursing stuff. For some reason, and I am assuming there was a reason(??) - the vet didn't put a bandage over his incision site; but it was still bleeding some and I didn't want it to get infected; so I have been trying to figure out how to keep a 4 inch incision covered on a dog - LOL. He isn't messing with it at all! It is just that tape doesn't stick at all, even though they shaved him. And he has the build of a Rottie, so although we did do a wrap around it once, it took most of the roll; and then didn't stay well. So... then I had an idea. We had several xtra apnea monitor belts from all the foster babies we have had on apnea monitors; so I took 2 of those and put them together with the velcro straps and held the gauze on with that. It worked :) The only thing is I didn't pay attention and I put the pink side out instead of the blue side out; so he isn't looking very masculine tonight - lol.

I will not be surprised if it comes back cancerous; he has several other areas all on his breast areas. AND if something has only a small chance of happening - it will usually happen to me. But... I am happy tonight that he is feeling better; the vet seemed optimistic; and she talked like there was no need to even consider putting to sleep at this point. That was a huge relief off of my mind and heart.

Is it almost time?

All day long, every day , without fail my kids want a constant update of our itinerary for the day. It makes me so frustrated. I get tired of telling the same thing 3 times, and then explaining 3 times why plans changed, etc. So I try to be courteous and tell them the basics; but then assure them that no matter what I will make sure that they go where I go; or that they are taken care of if they don't go with me.

Evaluating myself and my life, I like to know what is next in life and when it is going to happen too. I am ok with trusting God with the unknowns as long as I feel peace that I am where He wants me; BUT... I still struggle with wanting to know what's next, or how long until the next anticipated thing; etc.

I could really drag this post out by expounding on many areas; but there really is only one thing on my heart and mind tonight; and to most of you it will seem very trivial and silly. But... it is my first baby - my dog, Duke.

Before we had kids, when we were first diagnosed with infertility and going through the emotional turmoil that goes along with that diagnosis; I got a puppy. I admit, I wanted a full blooded Rottweiler, but a family in our church had 1/2 Rott and 1/2 Lab puppies they were giving away. So free is really good ;) Matt convinced me to at least go look at them. It was winter time, right after Christmas I think. The puppies were only 5 weeks old, but they were already eating puppy food, and they were living outside in north FL which does get cold, and the family was really trying to go ahead and give them away... so I took one. He was SO little. 2 pounds actually. I would bathe him in the bathroom sink and then dry him off and wrap him up in a towel and rock him to sleep. He was my baby. He really was. One night while my mom was visiting with us, Duke went missing. We couldn't find him ANYWHERE! We called and called his name. We looked all over the 2 acre property at 11:00 at night in cold weather! We came back inside, I was in tears, and out comes this little 2 pound puppy from under the couch. He had gone under there to sleep. From then on until he got big enough that he wouldn't fit, that was his sleeping place. About 7 years later we were on a youth trip at camp and had Duke with us; we were packing up to go home and once again looked everywhere for him, called his name over and over - he was no where to be found. Once again, I am in tears. This time there were about 50 other people to witness my emotional meltdown over this mutt, until one of the couples with us went to put something in their car and found him in their back seat. They had left the back door open and he didn't want to be left behind, so he had already secured his ride back home - lol.

I am sure he has protected us many times if not saved us a few times. One time I was putting my preemie foster baby in the van in front of our house in Miami and had left the front door open because I had my hands full. All of a sudden, Duke came barging out of the house barking and growling; I looked up in time to see a man that had been right up on me, moving very quickly away from me!

"He" has been bitten many times by all of our children and most of our foster children, but has never bitten any of them - lol. He has been ridden like a pony, had his ears pulled, been used as a pillow, and been loved by just about anyone who has ever met him - whether they normally like dogs or not.

So... is it almost time? I have always said, and I have even prayed that Duke would just die when it is time, because I just don't know that I can make the decision to put him to sleep. He has always been my baby, my protector, my friend; he has always looked after me. Even now when he can't walk very well, he follows me wherever I go, and waits for me to go to bed before he goes to bed. Talk about loyal!! But for the past 3 days or so, he has been tripping when he walks, he is very slow to get up, he is whining more often although not constantly. Two days ago I started crying again over Duke, but this time it is because I am afraid that the time is coming soon that he really will be gone. I know he is just a dog. But to me, he is my baby. Right now the hard part is knowing when or if I have to have him put to sleep. And also the thoughts of not having him anymore. I have doctors appts tomorrow with some of the kids, but if he isn't better by Friday, I may make an appt with the vet and at least see what they say.

Duke will be 13 in November! That is really old for a Rott or Lab. I do thank God for giving him to me when I really needed him! I will thank God if I get to keep him for another year or two and I will thank God for the nearly 13 years if I have to let him go soon.

I wish I knew if it was time to let go, time to say goodbye - we will see...

I know to many of you this just doesn't make sense and you are saying, that is so stupid - it is a DOG. I know, he is just a dog, but I love him very much; so the hurt is real. And I don't know what will happen yet. I thought I was going to lose him a few months ago and he pulled through. So who knows... but I just have a different feeling this time. And I needed to express my thoughts and feelings. Some of you will understand ;)

Stories Promised

Ok, so here is one of the stories I said I would write about...

Probably the most interesting and definitely the most laughable is our first trip out into the bay on the pontoon boat with Jenn and Phillip and their boys Malachi and Isaac. We had the kids sitting on the floor in the front of the boat as we were headed back in. The purpose of our trip was to go shrimping. We caught two tiny starfish (which I think we might have left at our friends condo - gotta ask them) and we caught ONE shrimp which I used to catch the first small fish the next morning which was used as bait fish later on in the week on our "BIG" (lol) fishing trip with just us adults - all we caught were stupid catfish. Anyway; back to the first trip... we were headed back in; and it was dark, and we were having a hard time seeing the markers and we ended up in really shallow water. Even in the channel it was only like 8 - 10 feet because we didn't go out far at all. So we end up in a foot and a half of water. To try to keep the engine from hitting sand or seaweed on the bottom; Phillip and I went and stood on the front of the boat. Our pontoon boat has a rail, and then a platform or whatever you call it on the front that is about 2 ft. long in front of that rail... so we were standing there in front of that rail.

Before I go any farther with this story, let me tell you that I had been having issues with vertigo (where you get dizzy from inner ear) for about a week or 2 and was still not steady even when standing on dry land that was not moving.

Ok. so we are standing on the front to keep the engine in the back up, when all of a sudden water starts coming up on us quickly. Phillip starts to say "There is water..." but doesn't even have time to finish. Matt cuts the engine to keep us from going forward and getting more water; but it was already enough to send Phillip and me both backwards over the rail INTO the boat (Thankfully and not out of the boat) BUT I landed right in Malachi's lap. He is 4; and bless his little heart he is so scared of something happening to his daddy. When he saw water come on the boat, his daddy fall, and Aunt Shauna landed in his lap, and then I was kinda dizzy and couldn't get up quickly - not to mention we were SOAKED - he was pretty darn upset to say the least! In fact, after that, I ended up driving (do you "drive" a boat?) I am new at this - u can laugh at me if u want, just don't tell me you are laughing at me ;) I ended up driving and Matt stood on the front with Phillip when we needed it and I tried to tell Malachi he could be my "co-captain" but that didn't work; he had enough of that boat! He went and sat with his mommy and hasn't been back on it since. Don't know if he will go again or not??? What do u think Jenn??

Oh, and the other funny thing that night; Matt kept trying to get me to hold a flashlight, but it is an emergency flashlight for boats and it is made to turn on to flashing red and white when it hits the water; and because I was so wet, every time I tried to hold it, it would start flashing; then Matt would get it and it he would use it as a regular flashlight; forget and ask me to hold it again and I kept getting frustrated because every time I touched the thing it started flashing.

"sick of me"

All 5 of my kids have had a fever the past few days :(

Madi, Ty, and La get very upset when they don't get to go to church when they are sick. Tonight I was trying to explain to them how we wouldn't want to make someone else sick too by being around them when we are sick. She said "yeah, I want to play with Malachi but he would be sick of me" LOL

Turns out Malachi had to play with them too; so they came over for a little bit after church; hopefully they won't get "sick of us" :)

Lauren Singing in Church

Growing up and Running Away

We were walking off of the beach today and this cute teenager (probably 14 or so) says to Madison (who is tall for her age)"Hey, what's up" Madison sheepishly smiled, said "nothing" then literally ran until she got to her daddy - lol!!! I laughed for 30 minutes.
Now... had her 7 year old sister been with us; I would have had to keep her from going over there to talk to him - don't know what we will do with that one when the time comes that boys start noticing her.
But for now, I am OK with the fact that Madi wants to run away ;)

I know I am WAY behind on blogging; sorry. I do have some stuff to write about; some pictures to share, etc. It will probably be a few weeks before I am back to a more normal routine though. We have a new foster daughter. I have known her for 3 years, but she is new to our house. Still have the baby; so we are back to 5 kids in the house - that is taking a little adjustment. But we are enjoying the end of our summer!! Our church family has been SOOOO wonderful to us lately (as they always are).

Stories for the near future:
our boating experience where I fell in Malachi's lap and scared him to death
my update on insomnia, depression, and life
kids growing up and all they are doing
lauren singing in church for the first time
first fishing adventure with pics
A book I am reading and some thoughts I have
Need help with organizing my house
What to do with our 10 month old "puppy?????"
New Homeschool year and lots of changes
and some other stuff