One of my favorite verses in the Bible is "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." With all of the changes in our lives the past few months, I have really been holding onto that verse. I kept saying God has a church for Matt to serve in, God has a child for me to love in foster care, etc. Then the other night I was praying, asking God to show us clearly what His plans were - where does He want us to go, what does He want us to do, and it hit me... we are in God's plan "now". I keep wanting God to show me what He wants us to do in the future, that I haven't been paying attention to what God wants us to do now, where we are at now. I still believe God wants Matt in a church position, and I am sure there is another child that he wants me/us to foster, but in the mean time, while we are waiting on those things, I want to serve God where He has us now, and hopefully not miss what He wants me to do "Now". I have to admit - I don't know exactly what that is... I am working as a pediatric home health nurse with the foster children of a friend of mine. And I have to say - as far as jobs go, I love it! I love all 3 kids I work with. 2 are toddlers, and I get lots of hugs and kisses. And the oldest is 6, and we have had several conversations about Heaven and how perfect it is, and how in Heaven our bodies will be perfect, and she will be able to do all the things that her earthly body prevents her from doing. She is a delight to work with, and I truly love her; perhaps this IS part of God's plan for me "right now". It is not easy working nights with 4 kids at home, homeschooling all 4, and trying to spend quality time with my husband and kids, plus all the other responsibilites of being a mom, and caring for the medical needs of my own kids/foster child. But... if this is where God has chosen for me to be, I hope I am pleasing Him :) I still pray for God to provide a church for Matt to serve in - and I pray that it is one where we can minister to God's people, reach out to those who don't know God, and worship our God with our brothers and sisters in Christ. And although I wish that no child would ever be abused, abandoned, or neglected again, or be so sick that they need constant medical attention - unfortunately, I know there will always be children with those needs, and God will one day choose to give me one of those children to love again for a certain time; and when He does, I pray that I will please Him in how I care for that child, and teach them about His love. And IF He should choose for that child to be a little preemie baby - that would be pretty nice - lol.
Funny Lauren story - I was shopping at WalMart this week with all 4 kids, which by the way is my LEAST favorite thing to do in the world!!! I have resorted to bribery while shopping in WalMart. In fact, I would give them just about anything they want if they would just walk calmly with me throughout the store, and not fight, scream, push, pull stuff off the shelf, tell me 5 times they have to go potty, beg for gum, ask for a toy, etc. (I know they sound like brats don't they?) Well, I had told them that if they would behave in the store, at checkout they could each get a piece of candy. Which then means I get asked a dozen times, "Am I being good, Mommy; can I get candy?" It really is a no win situation. Well, each of the kids began to ask me if they had been good as we approached the checkout line. When it got to Lauren's turn to ask - before I had a chance to answer her she quickly began to say "please say yes,please say yes" Bless her heart, she had been in trouble the entire time. I hugged her and told her I loved her, then I held my ground and did not let her get candy - even though it broke my heart. Her brother and sisters all shared their candy with her though, and I didn't stop them :) If it is possible for some people to have a harder time with following rules and being nice, Lauren is definately one of those people. But then again, she is my most affectionate child. She must tell us 1000 times a day that she loves us.
3 comments:
OH Shauna!!! Do apnea alarms all night and sat monitors and oxygen tanks and caffeine, and fer in sol, and diuretics, and potassium and feeding pumps and aldactizide and another 3 meds that are too hard to spell and SVNs, and NG tubes, and PT, OT ST, FT....all sound like good times to you???? I know you are a nurse but are you SURE you want a preemie??? :) :) :) Love you.
P.S. Jim and I wonder if we will foster micro's when we are much older. It will take us that long to recover. ;)
LOL - maybe I am just asking for trouble ;) I don't know why preemies are my favorite, they just are. I think it is because I can see the most dramatic change in them over time. I did hear today of a possible foster daughter for us, she is 9 years old - so NOT a baby. I am excited just as much though. Hopefully next week we will find out if we get her or not. And BTW, I think it would be AWESOME if you and Jim decide to foster micropreemies in the future!!
Post a Comment