How is it that 2 seven year olds, and an 11 year old can ask questions to their daddy who is a pastor, has been in ministry for 17 years, has a BA in Theology, and a Masters in Education; and he says to them - go ask your mom - lol. I am with them 24/7, have assisted Matt in ministry for 17 years, have 2 years of Bible College, a nursing degree, etc; and I can't answer all their questions.
We are always honest with them, and sometimes that is harder than just making stuff up. But it is something that they bank on - they know that when we tell them something; it is the truth. For that, I am very glad.
I have been so proud of them lately as I see them growing in their faith, and in their love for others. I give FULL credit to God for that!! :)
The reason for this post was prompted by my conversation with Ty and La tonight. I went in to pray with them at bedtime. Lauren had a rough nights sleep last night with lots of bad dreams and ended up in the bed with us. That has become a very rare thing - they hardly ever come get in the bed with us anymore. I sat in their bed and talked to them for probably 20 minutes about God's absolute control, how He has protected them all of their life, how He loves them, etc. Tyler says "but what if someone breaks in and stabs us" Where do they even get that from?? We don't watch scary movies, "I" don't even like scary movies!!! Lauren started crying again. And we had a discussion about not living our lives in fear. But... I have to say that I must admit that I haven't even gotten to that point yet. I am much better than I used to be. But...like Tyler, I realize that God is in control, but bad things still happen sometimes. Of course I told him that God can turn even the worst things into good things.
We prayed, and they settled down and went to sleep. I have to say, that prayer really does help them feel secure, and i am glad about that!!
But then, Tyler said something that broke my heart. I said something about them bringing me joy; and he said "we don't bring you joy, we make you upset because we fight all the time" My eyes filled with tears and I asked him - do you really not see how happy you make me??? He was being honest, and he wasn't so sure about them making me happy. I cried as I told each of them how much they mean to me, what I love about them, and how I can't imagine my life without them, and listed things that each of them do that bring me MUCH joy!!! He knows that I love him. But because I am frequently frustrated with their bickering; he really thought that I didn't "enjoy" them. Boy have I been doing something very wrong!!! That is the last thing I want!!! So...I need to figure out how to get them to get along with each other better, but make sure they know how much I enjoy them at the same time. I need to figure out how to make them feel safe at night, without telling them that everything will be o.k.; because I can't promise that.
At least they feel totally and completely loved by me, by Matt, and most important by God. Their faith is very real. I see them living it out and growing in it. They love their family. So, all is not bad. But boy raising kids can be difficult.
Suggestions on helping kids overcome fear would be greatly welcomed. And, if any of you homeschooling moms have any suggestions on how you handle "too much time together" that would be awesome too. Each child has 1 activity that they do, that is their alone time. But here at the house, there is not much of a way for them to really get away from each other. As spring comes around, there will be more opportunities, but right now - with everyone getting sick often, and the weather being in the 70's one week and the 40's the next, it is crazy.
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