update 1

Ty's surgery has been postponed until 1:00. Other than being hungry, he is doing fine. We are waiting in pre-op, and he is playing with his cars.

God has blessed us this morning. From songs on the radio to the nurses in the hospital. Ty's pre-op nurse goes to a church that we almost went to as youth pastor 10 years ago. She knows a guy that we used to work with at a youth camp. Small world, Big God. This nurse was a blessing to me because we had lots to talk about, and that has kept my mind off of what is going on. The therapy dog came around, and Ty wasn't interested, but it helped mommy :)

On the way to the hospital this morning, Ty started crying and told me he was hungry. It broke my heart to tell him that I knew he was hungry, but he couldn't have anything to eat. At least my son will be able to eat tonight. At that moment I thought of all the moms in the world who's hearts break as they tell their children that there is not anything to eat. I think when this is over, I will look into sponsering a child through World Vision.

The biggest blessing I have had this morning is knowing that lots of people are praying for Ty and for us. Pastor Pulley and his wife came to stay with us, and even though they can't be back here where we are... they are waiting in the waiting room for us. That shows God's love in them. And I have gotten lots of emails that have meant a lot to me; but Pam, yours really blessed me this morning. We love you guys so much too, and we miss you. Coming to visit you is on the top of our list after school is out.

Getting ready for the IV now, gotta go.

Shauna

Tyler's Surgery Today

We have to be at the hospital at 9:30 in the morning, and I don't know exactly what time his surgery will start. I am going to try to put updates on here, so that everyone will know how he is doing, and what to pray for.

Please pray for his safety during surgery, for it to work this time, and for peace for me, Matt, and Tyler. Also pray for Matt's mom, as she will have the girls for us. And my friend Stephanie will have the my foster daughters, so pray for her too!

If all goes well, we should be home on Tuesday.

Thank you all for the prayers and the encouraging words you have given so far. It is REALLY APPRECIATED !!!

Love,
Shauna

My Heart's Dreams

This is a video I did 2 years ago for publicity on a petition aimed at preventing state funding of embryonic stem cell research. I LOVE this song, and think of it often as I watch all of my children growing up. "I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams, and that faith gives you courage to dare to do great things, I'm here for you whatever this life brings, so let my love give you roots and help you find your wings." This weekend I have seen Lauren share her icee with Tyler, she actually fed him with her spoon. When Tyler cried over having bloodwork done, Madison hugged him and told him it would be o.k. You would have to know Tyler to understand how sweet he is and how much he cares about other people. He will sometimes own up to doing something wrong, even though he didn't, just to get his sisters out of trouble. Lauren is SO very strong willed, but for every bit of attitude, she loves her family and God just as much. Madison puts me to shame when it comes to caring about the lost and witnessing to people.

I used to pray with the twins every night, unfortunately it is hit and miss now; but I always end with "I pray that God will help you to grow up to love Him with all of your heart and serve Him with your life." I am already seeing those plans unfold. It is the most beautiful thing a mom can ever see.

I am extremely emotional tonight with Ty's heart surgery less than 48 hours away. I am thankful... to God for giving me my children, all of whom bless my life every day. For Tyler who is the sweetest person I have ever met. I never imagined when I was going through infertility and praying for a child, that God would bless me this much.

I am scared and nervous. My prayer is "God I know I don't deserve to even come before you to ask for anything; but I thank you that Jesus made the way for me to come before you boldly to ask for my heart's dreams: Please keep my baby safe, please let the surgery work this time so we don't have to do this again; and more than anything... Please let him grow up to love you with all of his heart, and serve you with his life. I pray that for Madison and Lauren and Scott as well. Lord, you know my heart. You know how broken and humbly I come before you. I love you and always will. I can't bargain with you, because I have nothing to offer you. Thank you for my son, please heal him and use him for your glory. In Jesus name I pray. "

Safe in my arms

Tyler had to have labwork today. As we were waiting in the waiting room he crawled up in my lap and snuggled with me for the longest time. I don't get that much anymore, he is usually too busy playing. It felt so good to hold him in my arms... he is such a sweet boy, and I love to cuddle with him.

Then Ari started getting fussy with Madi holding her, so I held her for a while. She did the same thing as Ty. She leaned her head over on my shoulder and snuggled with me until they called Ty back for his labs to be drawn. I have quickly fallen in love with her, and I love to snuggle with her too.

Then tonight, Lauren was having a hard time going to sleep so I layed down with her for a few minutes. After about 5 minutes with me hugging her up, she fell asleep. She actually woke up again after that though, and is still awake - watching t.v. with mommy downstairs.

I actually get lots of snuggles and hugs every day. Even if they are only for a few seconds. I am a very lucky mommy to have all these kiddos to love on. 5 kids = 10 arms to hug me with. :)

Praise

I got up to ride bikes with Matt again this morning. It is so peaceful and quiet that time of morning (maybe why I sleep so good that time of morning too - lol). I haven't gone riding with him much, but the few times I have, I have really enjoyed talking to God during that time. This morning while I was reflecting and praying, I realized something. I spend a lot of my time trying to please God. I try to raise my children how God wants me to, I try to serve God how He wants me to, I try to be the wife He wants me to be, I try to be the pastors wife he wants me to be, etc. I know and understand that my life is so very tiny compared to the universe and eternity. I also understand that I can never be perfect, believe me... I KNOW I am not perfect, and I don't pretend to be. But yet, I find myself thinking: the purpose of my life is to live it according to how God wants me to - which is true. But what I end up doing is living my life to "please" God, and don't spend enough time "PRAISING" God. I get so caught up trying to do what He wants me to do, that I forget to Thank Him for what HE has done, or Praise Him for who He is.

As I looked at the stars and the moon this morning, with the sunrise coming up behind them, I was reminded of how mighty God is. The same God that creates every sunrise is the same God that is in control of every minute of my life. With Tyler's surgery coming up, I can't help but be concerned. I don't think God expects me not to be... even Jesus cried when Lazarus died - God created us with emotions for a reason. BUT... it is nice to know that my God is so big and powerful, and He is in control at all times. I don't know why bad things happen. I don't know why some people have more bad things happen to them than others. But I do know that God has a purpose for us all, and He never stops loving us. The same God that created the sunrise, created Tyler. The same God that placed the stars in the sky placed Tyler into my care as an embryo and knew that the day would come when he would need heart surgery. And just like God paints beautiful sunsets over the ocean, or an amazing sunrise over the mountains; He created a beautiful baby boy as a tiny little embryo and knew every day of his life even before he was created. I can't help but be scared... I am not naive enough to think that bad things don't happen to good people; and I am not ignorant enough to believe that I am "too good" for something bad to happen. But what I do know is that God has promised to "Never leave me, nor forsake me". I also know that He is an awesome God, worthy of my praise every day of my life. I know that He hears my prayers. And I pray that God will protect my baby during his surgery; I pray that this time will fix the problem, and that we won't have to go through this again. I pray that Tyler will have a fast recovery, and have no complications. And I know that God is big enough to hold Tyler, as well as the rest of the world, in His hand. God, "I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made". May I not forget to praise the God I serve, the God who holds my life in His hands; the God who creates every day for us all.

Tyler's surgery, please pray

We have scheduled Tyler's cardiac ablation for next Monday, April 27th. Please pray for him, and for Matt and I. We could have chosen to wait until June, and I was tempted to do that. But after last weeks episode where it took about 45 minutes to get his heart rate where it should be... it is probably best that we go ahead and have it done.

This is his second time having it done. Biggest risk is him coming out of it with a pacemaker for the rest of his life. Of course there are other risks too.

I was really nervous last time too, but I am just as nervous this time. I am glad that it is not more serious than it is... they don't have to open his chest - they go through the arteries in both groins and 1 in his arm; thread all the things they need to work with up to his heart, cause his heart to go into it's arrythmia, map where it is coming from, and burn that part of his heart so that it forms scar tissue and doesn't cause the extra electrical impulse which causes his heart to beat too fast. He has Atypical AV Node Re-entry.

I am so thankful to God for my children, and for their health. I know there are lots of people out there facing worse things with their kids. But I just love my little man SOOOOOOOOOOOO much, it breaks my heart to think of anything bad happening to him. I don't think I will stop worrying about it until it is over. Having said that, last year when he had the same thing done, there were lots of people praying for him and for us, and God gave us such a peace on the day of his surgery that we really were not upset or stressed during his surgery. So please pray for us again this year!!!

Tyler is such an active little boy. I don't want him to be limited in what he can or can't do physically. I hope that this surgery will help him.

Thank you!
Shauna

Quote from Tyler

"Mommy, did God paint your freckles on with a marker?"

It's funny, I have never liked my freckles... Tyler and Lauren have a few freckles across their cheeks and nose, not many at all, but when they draw pictures they often draw lots of freckles on themselves. :)