Beautiful days and storms

"I'm thanking you, God, from a full heart, I'm writing the book on your wonders. I'm whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I'm singing your song, High God." Psalm 9:1 - 2 (Message version)

My favorite version of the Bible to study from is still NIV, but I love how the message reads sometimes. I read that verse last night, and thought it was pretty cool. In fact, it kinda reflects how I feel this morning. Nothing exceptional is going on - just being reminded of God's love for me and feeling pretty good about it.

The weather here is REALLY nice this morning too. Hanna is sitting just off the coast and has dropped the temperature and brought us just enough breeze to be really nice. It was like that most of last week when Faye circled around us. I could get used to this weather. :)


Another verse I read last night:
"God's a safe-house for the battered, a sanctuary during bad times. The moment you arrive, you relax; you're never sorry you knocked." Psalm 9:9 - 10 (message version)
I just love how that reads. You're never sorry you knock on God's door - He always welcomes us in and gives us a safe, loving place to be.

Plans

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is "I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." With all of the changes in our lives the past few months, I have really been holding onto that verse. I kept saying God has a church for Matt to serve in, God has a child for me to love in foster care, etc. Then the other night I was praying, asking God to show us clearly what His plans were - where does He want us to go, what does He want us to do, and it hit me... we are in God's plan "now". I keep wanting God to show me what He wants us to do in the future, that I haven't been paying attention to what God wants us to do now, where we are at now. I still believe God wants Matt in a church position, and I am sure there is another child that he wants me/us to foster, but in the mean time, while we are waiting on those things, I want to serve God where He has us now, and hopefully not miss what He wants me to do "Now". I have to admit - I don't know exactly what that is... I am working as a pediatric home health nurse with the foster children of a friend of mine. And I have to say - as far as jobs go, I love it! I love all 3 kids I work with. 2 are toddlers, and I get lots of hugs and kisses. And the oldest is 6, and we have had several conversations about Heaven and how perfect it is, and how in Heaven our bodies will be perfect, and she will be able to do all the things that her earthly body prevents her from doing. She is a delight to work with, and I truly love her; perhaps this IS part of God's plan for me "right now". It is not easy working nights with 4 kids at home, homeschooling all 4, and trying to spend quality time with my husband and kids, plus all the other responsibilites of being a mom, and caring for the medical needs of my own kids/foster child. But... if this is where God has chosen for me to be, I hope I am pleasing Him :) I still pray for God to provide a church for Matt to serve in - and I pray that it is one where we can minister to God's people, reach out to those who don't know God, and worship our God with our brothers and sisters in Christ. And although I wish that no child would ever be abused, abandoned, or neglected again, or be so sick that they need constant medical attention - unfortunately, I know there will always be children with those needs, and God will one day choose to give me one of those children to love again for a certain time; and when He does, I pray that I will please Him in how I care for that child, and teach them about His love. And IF He should choose for that child to be a little preemie baby - that would be pretty nice - lol.

Funny Lauren story - I was shopping at WalMart this week with all 4 kids, which by the way is my LEAST favorite thing to do in the world!!! I have resorted to bribery while shopping in WalMart. In fact, I would give them just about anything they want if they would just walk calmly with me throughout the store, and not fight, scream, push, pull stuff off the shelf, tell me 5 times they have to go potty, beg for gum, ask for a toy, etc. (I know they sound like brats don't they?) Well, I had told them that if they would behave in the store, at checkout they could each get a piece of candy. Which then means I get asked a dozen times, "Am I being good, Mommy; can I get candy?" It really is a no win situation. Well, each of the kids began to ask me if they had been good as we approached the checkout line. When it got to Lauren's turn to ask - before I had a chance to answer her she quickly began to say "please say yes,please say yes" Bless her heart, she had been in trouble the entire time. I hugged her and told her I loved her, then I held my ground and did not let her get candy - even though it broke my heart. Her brother and sisters all shared their candy with her though, and I didn't stop them :) If it is possible for some people to have a harder time with following rules and being nice, Lauren is definately one of those people. But then again, she is my most affectionate child. She must tell us 1000 times a day that she loves us.

Daddy's Voice

Madison came to live with us when she was 3 weeks old. She and her older brother lived with us in foster care for 5 months. Then for several different reasons that are too much to list here, she left our foster home when she was 6 months old. Matt and I cried and cried after she left us. Then, 2 months later, we received a phone call asking us if we wanted to adopt her. Did we ever!!! We were working at the Florida Baptist Children's Home as house parents at the time, and they said it was a conflict of interest for us to work for them and adopt throught them, ultimately causing us to choose our job our our daughter. Well, you all know what we chose - and it took us all of about 1/2 second to decide that. Within 2 weeks neither one of us had a job, and we didn't have a place to live. Then it took 3 more months for everything with foster care to get worked out for us to get our little girl back. It was honestly one of the most depressing, frustrating times in our lives. But we also saw God work in mighty ways during that time. Jobs opened up, Matt's grandma graciously let us move into her house, and Madi was placed in a wonderful temporary foster home until we could get the legal stuff worked out to get her back. The first time we went to visit her in her new foster home, it had been about 3 months since we had seen her, she was then 9 months old, and we wondered if she would remember us. When we first walked into the room where she was, she didn't seem to recognize us immediately, which didn't surprise us - we didn't really expect her to remember. Then something wonderful happened. Matt spoke... and Madison immediately snapped her little head around to look at him with this huge smile on her face. She recognized her daddy's voice.
Madison accepted Christ as her Savior Friday night. Her daddy and I are so excited that we both got to be there and be a part of the most important moment of her life. This is a part of what Matt prayed after Madi had said her prayer: "Just like Madison recognized and responded to her earthly father's voice 8 years ago, she has recognized and responded to her Heavenly Father's voice tonight." Isn't that awesome!!
Madi also wrote out her prayer to God. I wanted to scan it here so you could see it in her handwriting, but we are having technical difficulties. So I am just going to type what she said: "Dear God I love you with all of my heart. More than any thing else. And I will always try to do what is right. And when I die I want to go to heaven. And the reason I want to go to Heaven is because when I do, I want to see Mommy, Daddy, Lauren, Tyler, Grandma, PopPop, Pa, Granny, Dawson, Whitney, Aunt Kay, and all the others. I love you God. The end." This was written after we had talked about it for a while, and she told us that she wanted to ask Jesus into her heart because she loves Him, and he died on the Cross to take away her sins. I tell you, the day we officially adopted Madi was really special - but this day was even better!! When we adopted her we rejoiced with family and friends because we had an addition in our family, Friday night the angels in Heaven rejoiced with us because there was an addition to God's family. I am a proud momma!

Back to the basics

I bought our 100 pound, 1 year old rottweiler a few toys today. My goal was for her to be entertained in a nondestructive way. I had seen a suggestion on a doggie website about the toys that you can hide doggie treats in, and it gives the doggies lots of play time with the reward of a treat. Well, not this doggie. She had chewed it apart in 10 minutes - she did like her treats though. I spent $6 for a toy that lasted 10 minutes!!! Then, I was pouring milk in Tyler's cereal and emptied the milk jug. I thought - why not give her this to play with. Although she did chew it up quite a bit, she played with it for the rest of the evening - like 2 hours!! (I did wash it first) I spent $6 on a dog toy and I could have given her an empty milk jug for free!! Kinda reminds me of how kids play with the empty boxes on Christmas.

Madison asked me this question a couple of days ago "If all of us were in a car accident; you, daddy, Lo Lo, me, Tyler, and Lauren, and we all died - would we all go to Heaven"? I told her that Daddy and I would go to Heaven because we have asked Jesus into our hearts and made Him Lord of our life. I believe Tyler and Lauren would go to Heaven because they love Jesus, but are not really old enough to make a decision about asking Jesus into their hearts yet. And I think you (Madi) are right at the place in your life where you are able to make that decision and be held accountable to God. Sometimes I think we make "salvation" out to be so much harder than it really is. The Bible says "Believe in your heart, and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and you will be saved". Madi has grown up a preachers kid, and knows a lot about the Bible. Even more than that, I really believe that she loves God with all of her heart. I have said before that I can really picture her growing up to be a missionary. She has a passion for helping hurting people, and for people who don't know God. So here's where my thoughts are running together: With Matt having been a youth pastor for 10 years, we have seen MANY teenagers who thought they were saved as a child, but realized as teenagers that they didn't really understand it as a child, some of them went on to accept Christ as teenagers, some of them turned away from God and church. I have also known a few people who know they were saved as a child, and never had any doubts about it. I think Madi will be like the latter - truly accepting Christ as a child. She has a very obvious love for God and a strong faith in Him, and she will tell anybody about God in any way that she can. I think she is just at the point in her life where she wants to nail it down. We have had conversations about this several times the past year. There was a time at a revival about a year ago that I believe God was calling to her. She looked at me and said "I want to go" I said "You want to go where" And then I think she got scared, and she said "I just want to go pray" So we went to pray, that night we talked about it and she kinda backed off a little bit; so we didn't push her. We want it to be her decision - we can't force her to do it. We have talked about it several times since then, but not really gotten anywhere. She asked me tonight if we could talk about it, but I had to leave for work, so we talked for just a minute, and told her that daddy and I would talk to her some more tomorrow. I am excited, I think she is probably ready, and hopefully able to understand enough to not doubt her decision later in life.

Change

We have had a lot of changes in our lives lately. We are pretty used to this, actually. Between being foster parents - with kids coming into and leaving our home on a regular basis, and being in the ministry which brings lots of interesting and always changing events into our lives, it does take quite a bit to knock us off ballance. But I have to say - I feel a little wobbly lately. Kelly, Sharlene, and Jen - I know you have all asked me how we are doing lately - and we REALLY are doing alright. I know you are all sincere in your concern for my family. But, being honest, I am a worrier. I would like to say that it is not that I don't trust God. I just finished reading "The Shack" - great book, will talk more about that later - but it did give me greater insight into how I view God. Mainly my need to trust Him more. I do think that I sincerely believe that God wants the best for me, and I believe whole-heartedly that He is capable of doing whatever He sees fit. I guess my failure comes when I don't see answers to prayer right away. I am not, nor have I ever been a very patient person. I don't doubt one bit that God is already making plans and leading us in our lives to fulfill His purposes, and one day soon I will see it all put together and go "OH, so that is what He was doing" But until then, I worry if I am doing the right things. I don't want to "do" too much, not trusting God to lead, and I don't want to "do" too little - to not be responsible for what God has given to me. SO... I am praying a lot and taking one day at a time, praying that God will use us where He wants us, and help us to be faithful - knowing that He is faithful, even when we are not.

As for "The Shack", if you haven't read it, I highly recomend it! It was awesome! I read the entire book last night. I couldn't put it down.

One thing I want to write about occasionally is cute things the kids say or do. There are already so many things that have become fuzzy memories to me, and I wish I would have written about them before now so I wouldn't forget. One thing Tyler says that I just love is the way he says comfortable - "comfterby", to be specific "Mommy, your hair is so comfterby. He likes to rub my hair on his face. Although - speaking of change - I got it cut about 1 month ago and it is hard for him to do this now.

I have to tell you about the picture of me and my new haircut. First of all, Jen I only cropped you out because I didn't know if you would want me to post your picture, and it is 1:00 AM, and I am guessing that you don't want me to call you to ask permission right now,lol. But for everyone else - I do NOT have a nose ring. In one day I decided to get my hair cut and get my ear pierced at the top. My friend Jen and I thought it would be fun to send Matt a picture (he knew about the haircut, but nothing else) and put stick on jewels/studs on our noses and tell him we got our nose pierced too. Hee Hee.

sharing

Why is it that we sometimes have a hard time sharing God’s plan of salvation with others? I was given an opportunity to ask someone about their relationship with God this week, and I didn’t do as much as I should have. In fact, I did very little at all. It was not the ideal place or time – we only had a few minutes to talk, and we were in a place where we would have been interrupted frequently, just not a great place to talk in general. Still… it is so important that we take EVERY opportunity to share Christ – I may not ever have another chance with this person. Now, my intent is to buy her a bible and give her a card letting her know that I am praying for her (she shared some needs with me that day), and I will include either a track, or highlight the Roman Road, etc. But, I still feel bad knowing I didn’t do what I should have.
The very next night I was given the opportunity to ask 2 different people about their relationship with God, and I did. It is not that I am “scared” to discuss Christ or salvation with people. And I am not ashamed of Christ or my relationship with Him. In fact the lady I missed the opportunity with knows that I am a Christian and that my faith is very important to me, I have even talked to her about church before. I think the reason I sometimes don’t share Christ with people is because I am afraid it will come across as sounding “fake” “unreal” “rehearsed” Does that make sense? I want people to see God’s love in my life. And when I talk to people about God, I want them to know that He is real, and He really loves them. I find it hard to sum that up into a 3 minute conversation and make it real. I know I could say “God loves you, and if you love Him too and let him have control of your life, you can live with Him forever in Heaven”. My fear is that if just thrown out there it will sound “religious” and not “real”. I am much better at sharing Christ with people when I have time to follow through with the conversation. Anybody out there feel more comfortable sharing Christ’s love with others in “quick” situations? Anybody out there struggle with this too? I pray that God will forgive me for my failures, and help me to do better with each day that He gives me. 

twins start kindergarten

This week is our first week of school. I am homeschooling all 4 kids this year - Lo Lo, Madi, Ty, and La. Tyler and Lauren technically start school this year. I did some work with them last year, but I didn't report it to the county since they weren't school age yet. I am excited about this school year. I was a little bit more creative in my teaching tools this year. I am not generally a creative person. That may be why I don't like to scrapbook, hmmmm?

Tyler loves to learn. He is always asking questions. Tonight he asked me "mommy, how do we die"? He didn't mean how am I "going" to die, he meant - what happens when a person dies. We had a foster baby that died last year - he was in the hospital when he died. That has brought up conversations and questions about death. Then Sunday we visited a new church - it was an awesome service! But they did show some video clips from Passion of the Christ and some drama that went with it. Ty asked me then "Are they trying to die him"? We talked about how Jesus died to take our sins away, and Ty quickly added - then 3 days later "he woke up"! I just love how simple he and Lauren make it. They often use the phrase "he woke up". As to his question tonight - I told him, I don't know how or when we will die, but the great thing is that no matter when it is, if we love Jesus - we will go to Heaven when we die, and He will give us a brand new body. I pray more than anything else that all of my children will love God with all of their heart and lives when they are older. For now, they have the faith of a child, and it is awesome. If only we could hold on to more of that child-like faith.

Back to homeschool - Lauren is really impressing me this year. Last year she really wasn't interested in school at all. This year we bought her some computer programs, board and card games, and of course Leapster games, and she is doing so good! She is our artistic one. She is really into singing right now, and is supposed to start piano lessons soon. (Note to Aunt Kay - I am SOOO excited about her starting piano lessons. Remember how I used to always try to play your piano??) I will have to figure out how to post video and record her singing... she actually sounds pretty good.

Tyler picks up on things quickly, but gets very frustrated when he can't do something perfect the first time. He also wants to tell Lauren all the answers. I know she is thinking that she doesn't need to put the energy into learning new things because that is what Tyler is there for - to do her work for her. I can hear my family saying "Not sweet little Lauren" :)

Madi has grown up SO much lately! I just can't believe how mature she is getting. I really enjoyed my time with her last year when we started homeschooling. I think it has really helped our relationship. Not that it was ever bad, but we are both very strong willed, and spending more time with her has really made me appreciate what a sweet and compassionate child she is. I really love that about her.

And Lo Lo is in the hospital right now. I am not going to write any identifying information on here because of confidentiality - also why I don't have pictures of her on here. For our family in Alabama I am going to give updates only with general details. She is doing fine, just her usual hospital stay.

The pictures of Tyler and Lauren are from their first day of school - taken earlier this week.