When is a little "push" OK?

I have been thinking about this post for a while. Just haven't gotten around to writing it. Not that you needed, or care to know that ;)

Since the twins were toddlers we have let them wrestle around. It was really cute at first. I remember a church camping trip one time when they were about 2, and they wrestled and everyone laughed as Lauren tackled her brother... they got so dirty we had to give them a bath outside - they enjoyed it, and evidentally it was entertaining to us.

Then when they were around 4 we were visiting family in Alabama, and Lauren told Tyler and her (then) 7 year old (much bigger than her) cousin that they were "going down"... and they did go down. She ran down the hill and tackled them both. Again... very entertaining. No one was hurt, and no ones feelings were hurt. So... all was good.

Well, here we are now; the twins are 6 1/2 and although Lauren outweighs her brother by about 2 pounds, and Tyler is not much more than skin and bones... he is definately starting to have an edge on her. We knew this time would come; and to be honest, she kinda has it coming. Now... Tyler is the most kind-hearted kid you will ever meet, and he would not intentionally hurt her for anything in the world. But we have had 3 incidents in the past 2 weeks where Lauren has gotten bumped on the same spot on her head. It wouldn't bother me so much, but all 3 times were pretty big bumps; and all on the same spot.

So... I laid down the law - "NO MORE WRESTELING"! I have to say they have listened pretty well, there have been no injuries, and no major wresting has gone on, but there have been little pushes here and there. Sometimes out of frustration, sometimes when playing, etc. We (like most families) work daily on using words to solve problems (maybe not your kids, but my kids have to be taught these skills, they definately were not born with them - lol) As for the playing around part, I know they will not completely stop wrestling, and to be honest, it has been a way that they have played for years, and within limits, I don't know that I see anything wrong with it. They have fun, it gets out energy, and it's just their thing they do. But it is hard to know where to draw the line to keep them from getting hurt, and to keep it playful vs when someone gets their feelings hurt.

The jury is still out on this one... I'll have to let you know later what happens :)

I also wonder when a little push is too much in homeschool work. Sometimes when they say "I can't do this" and I push them a little, they end up learning the task, finishing the work, and feeling proud of themselves for accomplishing something they thought they couldn't do. Sometimes when I push them, they end up crumbled on the floor crying in frustration. And I have no idea what the outcome will be. Usually there are several factors that determine the outcome - how hard the task is, the mood of the child that day and time, how long we have already been doing work, etc. So again, I think a little push is sometimes needed, but hard to know when to push and when to wait, or even when stop and try a different approach.

Madi and I had the chance to go to Seaworld by ourselves a couple of weeks ago. She KNEW what was going to happen. She started saying before we even got there "you are going to make me ride a roller coaster, aren't you". When we walked inside the park, I said you can pick which 1 (they only have 2), but you are going to ride 1 of them with me today. When Madi was 4 she was tall enough to ride a roller coaster at Busch Gardens that makes 2 upside down loops, and she LOVED it!!! Then there were a few years where we didn't go to the parks at all, and she developed a fear of them over those few years. So for the 2nd time this year, I made her ride Kraken with me. Last time she was pretty scared, but ok at the end. This time, she relaxed more, although still not happy with me, and when we left the park she quietly said "I want to ride that roller coaster next time we come" LOL SO... a little push (although it sounds mean to some) worked and was what she needed to overcome her fear and enjoy something that her mommy and daddy will likely make her do lots of as she grows up (we love roller coasters).

And last; I wasn't going to use this as my first example of how God speaks to me... but it just fits here with the title of "push" so I will use it. Sometimes God has used friends to lovingly "push" me back to where I need to be. There is more than 1 time God has done this, but 1 in particular; a "push" by loving friends, guided by God was the only, or at least best way for God to speak to me; because I was too weak to walk the right way on my own. So sometimes God has used other people to speak for Him to me, sometimes gently, sometimes with a little push that was much needed.


So the moral for today's story - "go push someone" LOL :)