Faith

I am going to quote Heidi Jo from her comment under the Things I have learned post:

faith is not trusting God to do what you want Him to do... it's more like the willingness to trust Him even when He DOESN'T...

That is so true, and has been evident in my life (on a short scale) this past week.

In the past week or two these things have happened:
1. my grandfather was back in the hospital with chest pains (alright now)
2. Lauren's EKG came back abnormal, and has to see a cardiologist (this after Tyler has had to have 2 cardiac ablations in the past 2 years... I am emotionally spent on worrying about my kids health)
3. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and we are still waiting for all the details.
4. I had a week FULL of doctors appointments, which makes for a stressful week for me and the kids!
5. I had to reschedule one of the doctor's appointments because there was a sinkhole on the interstate between my house and there, and traffic was HORRIBLE!!!!
6. The baby was in the hospital with RSV and although not contagious anymore, we all still have runny noses.
7. Madison started with a BAD ear infection about 10:00 Friday night - you know, when the doctors offices are closed.
8. More frustrations with foster care.
9. I am feeling overwhelmed, and when I get that way, I kinda shut down - which is NOT a good response... I need to get my act together and get all my stuff done that I need to do.


All that to say, I asked a friend to watch the kids Saturday morning because I was about to have a breakdown, and I needed some time alone with Matt. We planned on going to breakfast and then going to the batting cages (my idea, I actually like that). I also wanted to ride the motorcycles. I don't like riding by myself (and I usually have 4 kids with me) so I don't get to ride much. So after jumpstarting mine (b/c it hadn't been ridden in a while, we headed off. We had a WONDERFUL breakfast, and went to head to the batting cages... My motorcycle wouldn't start. We borrowed jumper cables from a guy, tried to start it off Matt's bike; didn't work, started it off the guys car - it worked. So I am riding in circles to keep mine going, and Matt gets his seat put back on and... His wouldn't start!! The guy we borrowed the jumper cables from was gone, and no one else had any. SO...I prayed, and I prayed some more. I (in my opinion) really NEEDED some fun, relaxing time with my husband. But his motorcycle never did start, so I had to ride home alone, and get the car and the jumper cables... by that time, it was time to go home.

My point is this... God didn't fix the bikes like I asked Him to; but I still have just as much faith in Him as if he Had fixed them. I don't know what His plans are or were. Who knows, maybe He kept us out of an accident. Maybe He had another reason, but whether He answers my prayers with a yes or not; He is still the same loving God He always is. Throughout my mom's cancer, my grandad's heart disease, my daughters extra heartbeats and abnormal EKG, my over full schedule, the hurting people in our church, the hurting people in Haiti... God is still on his throne and He is still good; despite the bad in this world. He has a perfect place waiting for us one day when our time on this earth is over. So Faith is "our willingness to trust Him even when He doesn't give us what we want" it is trusting Him when things don't make sense.