On The Water

We have just gotten our pool back to where we can swim in it again (although there is still pollen in it). The twins are still learning to swim. I say that; they can both swim across our pool but give out a couple of feet from their destination. They are not tall enough to stand in the pool, so they have to wear floaties (gotta buy some new ones, can't find last years, so they have had to wear life jackets till I get some). Then we work one on one with swimming. One thing I am making them do every time we get in the pool is trying to float on their back. If they ever fall in a pool or lake I want them to be able to turn over and float on their back when they give out of energy from swimming.

This has proven to be a big challenge. Every day I tell them to relax, I WILL NOT let them fall under water, and I never have; I have earned that trust. I also tell them every day that they have to hold their head up, look up at the sky, and relax... if you tense up, if you don't trust me to catch you - you are going to start sinking. Both of them say they trust me, they know I won't let them go under, but neither of them has been able to fully relax and follow my directions, neither of them has truly trusted enough to fully relax in the water and just float.

I think that is where I am with God. I know He will always catch me, He has never failed me before, He has DEFINATELY earned my trust; and yet for some reason I can't just hold my head up, look up to the sky, and trust God completely. Doing so would mean that I could truly relax and just float on the water of life, enjoy the waves, not exerting extra energy when I have already run out of energy; and knowing that my Daddy is right beside me with His hands waiting to catch me. I think I am like Tyler and Lauren; I do trust God, and I think they do trust me; but... the human part of us wants to maintain some sense of control - we try to do it on our own, and we end up sinking.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is when Peter walked on the water. Sure, he started sinking, and Jesus was right there to catch him, He didn't let him drown. But before that, he actually walked on the water. Can you imagine?!? I want the twins to trust me enough to float on the water, can you imagine trusting God enough to WALK on the water?!?! It must have been awesome!!!

I got my hormone pellets this morning, and I was talking to my doctor and he said "you know, I think God puts changes in our lives for us to enjoy. Can you imagine if nothing ever changed, how boring that would be? So many times people stress when there is change in their lives instead of experiencing and enjoying the journey of where God is taking them."

I trust God because He has never left me, never failed me. I would like to think that I would have had faith like Peter and gotten to experience walking on water. I would like to say that I could even float on the water of life, much less walk on the water of life. But to be completely honest, although I know He won't let me go, I still try to hold on. There have been times in my life that I would describe as "walking on the water", times I trusted God and let go, times when I experienced things that only God can do; and they have been amazing. I hold those memories very close in my heart. But there are many more times where I didn't even get out of the boat.

One of my favorite songs right now is "Walk on the Water" by Britt Nichole. I want Lauren to sing it in church. God has given her a beautiful voice, and a deep love of music and singing. But she is also VERY shy. Getting up on stage in front of people and singing would take as much faith on her part as it would to walk on water. She talked to me about this song one day, and told me all about Peter walking on the water. I talked with her about the lyrics that say:

"Your insecurities try to alter you

You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes and you can
Walk on the water too"

I told her that God gave her a beautiful voice and it would be awesome for her to sing in church. We talked about being shy and insecurities. I will encourage her, but I won't push her; because I know I am no different. My insecurities hold me back every day.

"Abba, help me to trust you enough to not only float on the water, but to walk on the water. Help me to trust You enough that I can let go of my insecurities, let go of what I think is my control, and help me to ENJOY this journey You have me on called life."




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R3K0sqgfvM