A Tale of Tails

First of all, I have to warn you... this post may be offensive or shocking to some people. I am rating it PG13 for some crude language and mildly gross content. ;)

My afternoon:
We had our house alarm installed today, and right after the installer left, we left the house to go meet Matt and go to Sam's - shopping for tomorrow night's church dinner. When we left Sam's the plan was for me to go grab pizza for dinner, because I am still not feeling great (have had flu/cold symptoms off and on for over 2 weeks now), and Matt had to go to the south end of town to pick up some photo's that were ready. Then I had to go put the groceries away in the church, and we were going to meet back at the house. As I was getting in my car after unloading the groceries, it hit me - "what if Matt opens the door, forgetting we got the alarm installed today, and I haven't told him the code yet"
SO... I quickly drove to the house and found him standing at the front door. He waved for me to drive up to the front door because it was raining so much. He helped get the twins out, and Madi and I got the baby out as fast as we could because he has an apnea monitor (which IS electrical) and it was raining.
We make it inside and find out Duke has pee'd inside. This upsets me greatly...not because of the mess, that can be cleaned up easy enough; but Duke will be 12 years old in November, and he is 1/2 Rottweiler & 1/2 Lab, he has pretty much outlived his life expectancy already, and his age is really showing lately. He hasn't had an accident in the house since he was 6 months old. He has gone 24 hours without going to the bathroom because he wouldn't let the guy in that we had arranged to walk him while we were gone one time for a full day. This was just another sign that he is getting old. If you don't know me very well, you don't know how much I love my dog, and if you don't know Duke, you haven't met the sweetest dog EVER. I didn't mean to say so much about that...oh well. anyway - we had a big wet spot in the floor that needed to be cleaned up.
Tyler and Lauren were wound up tight, they were running all over the place. I am trying to get the pee cleaned up and deal with Tyler and Lauren, Matt is looking at the new alarm system and wanting me to tell him the code and show him how it works, etc. etc. I say to Matt "I will be right there, just let me wash my hands first"
So... I go to the kitchen sink to wash my hands and I see a white/pink lizard in the sink. I don't mind baby lizards, I will pick them up. But when they get to a certain size, I would REALLY rather NOT touch them. They move too fast, they look too much like snakes, etc. Madison had already refused to get it, and Matt does not do lizards at all. We have a system... I get out frogs and little lizards, he kills bugs, spiders, and snakes. So I am working up the nerve to catch him. I am standing there, staring at him, waiting for just the right moment, get the courage, ok I can do it - and right as i reach for it Matt screams "GET IT"!! I jumped a mile high, the lizard ran, and I gave Matt an evil look. I find the lizard again and pick it up this time. I can feel it wriggling around in my right hand and i have my left hand underneath to try and hold it. When all of a sudden I see AND FEEL it drop it's tail, it falls to the kitchen floor and runs under the dishwasher, and the tail is still moving in my hand. In the moment, I am completely startled, scared, and feeling ickky - without thinking I say "Oh s**t" with Tyler and Lauren and Madison standing right there. I have to say, I do not normally curse, I promise. And to those church members who read my blog - I am sorry. I am NOT perfect, and this incident proves it. SO... if any of my children should repeat the new word they heard today... I am VERY sorry!!! I look back at Matt and he is trying very hard not to laugh. We never found the lizard. I threw it's tail in the trash. And I pray the lizard doesn't crawl on me while I sleep tonight; and I pray that my children don't pick up on my bad language today :0
Later, I am taking a shower, and come out to see Matt taking a picture of a wasp he killed. He made fun of me for looking scared when he screamed at me while trying to catch the lizard, but I reminded him that he wouldn't even touch the lizard's tail, much less catch the whole thing. So he killed a wasp while I was in the shower, and took pictures of it to show that he was "the man". On his facebook he posted "killed a wasp and saved my family" - lol.
And that was just about 30 minutes of my afternoon today. :)

BTW - the picture at the top is the wasp Matt killed, and the tail of the lizard that I temporarily caught :)