OK, I seriously want feedback here. First, I know that there won't be many replies, but I really would like to know how this compares to life at your house:
The question is - IF you have kids, do you think they act spoiled. OR rather, I am trying to see if "my" kids are more spoiled than most kids - lol.
Here's the thing... we have really tried to teach them to be grateful, to have a work ethic, etc. They all (and I am talking about Madi, Ty, and La - not our foster kids) have chores. They all earn an allowance, but there have been times that we have not been able to give them an allowance when we were going through difficult financial situations, and I have to say, the kids never complained when we didn't have the $ to give them an allowance. They continued to do their chores, and never got frustrated that they weren't getting an allowance. We have also tried to teach them that part of being in a family is simply helping out just for the sake of helping, because we are a family, and love each other. I would say that they all 3 are sensitive to financial needs, and during the times that we don't have as much, they are very compassionate and understanding. BUT... during the times that we aren't feeling so tight financially, we give them an allowance - we have them tithe and save $$, and they can spend the rest however they choose (within boundaries - they just can't buy anything we wouldn't allow them to have). They don't complain about having too "little" an amount of allowance, and spend within their "budget" and are happy with it. BUT... here is where I feel they are spoiled - every time (and i do mean EVERY time) we go to the store they ask for little things like "dollar toys" "candy" "the girls want lip gloss" , etc. and if we say no, then they just move on to another thing asking again for something else. Matt and I have discussed it many times; but it was just really evident yesterday. Matt and I both had long days. I got my hormone pellets, we left the house at 7:45 and didn't get home until 9 PM last night; Matt had a long day at school, and we told the kids that both of us were very tired and not feeling well. I NEEDED to buy shoes for our foster daughter, and have been looking for some that fit her right for about 2 weeks; so I wanted to look at the mall where we had met Matt's mom for dinner. It needed to be quick because I wasn't feeling well and didn't need to be walking much after having my pellet implants yesterday morning. Madi broke down in tears because I came in and wouldn't let her buy the size 4 shoes she had convinced her daddy would fit her even after we had the conversation previously in the day that she wore a size 6 and was NOT going to buy shoes that did not fit her. (another problem we are having more frequently - they go to daddy when mommy says no - i know that is probably true in most homes - lol, but still not right) Tyler was having a fit at Walgreen's earlier in the day because I let Lauren buy nail polish that was on sale and it is going to be put up in my closet until she gets her allowance and can buy it from me; so he wanted to pick something out to be put away until he had his allowance - but his toys were about $5 more than what Lauren's nail polish was. I tried telling him that we walked by the nail polish and were not out looking for it, that i didn't feel good and did not feel like taking the time to look for a toy. Although he didn't really act ugly about it; he just wouldn't quit asking. Then they all asked for candy, for silly bands, for small toys; etc - it just wouldn't stop. Then at the mall Lauren got upset, but I have to say - she really didn't pitch a fit, just tried to push the envelope a little to try and get her way - she wanted a ballet bag for her ballet clothes, even though we were buying her ballet shoes and have already bought the leotard, tights, and skirt. Matt told her "no" and she whined a little saying "but they only have one left".
They always ask for gum and or candy in check out lines. They always ask for a dollar toy at Target. And I KNOW that we started it. It seemed innocent enough when they were smaller and we would buy them a dollar toy. Not a big deal $3, and they were happy - but now we have these little monsters that think they HAVE to have something EVERY time we go to the store. It isn't about the amount of $$ being spent, it is that the think they HAVE to have something every time, even though for the past year or so we have worked on NOT buying them something every time, and trying hard to break that habit.
They are all compassionate and loving, and are sensitive to high cost issues; but they are brats when it comes to thinking they have to get something little every time we go out.
We are trying to teach them responsibility by giving them an allowance, making them save some of it, and having them wait to buy what they want when they get paid. BUT... I try to be nice and if there is something that is on sale, or something we have a hard time finding (like Tyler's cars or transformers that he collects and sometimes he will look for a particular one for months, if we see it, I will buy it and put it up for him when he gets his allowance).
We sponser a child through World Vision, and I have tried to teach them about how blessed we are in America. I know we started their attitude problems by buying them small items frequently when they were younger - but we are having a difficult time with "our" consequences of trying to teach them now that they don't have to get something every time we go out. I don't want them to grow up thinking that they get something fun every time we go to the store. "I" don't get something fun every time we go to the store - lol.
OK, so what is it like with your kids? Do you have the same type situations/issues at your house??
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