I am frustrated, and torn with a tough decision. This is the second tough decision Matt and I have had to make in the past 24 hours. Both decisions will influence our family dynamic, and how much time we have together. Both decisions are somewhat ministry based, and there is not a WRONG choice, just a good or better choice. BUT there could be some bad outcomes if we don't make the right choice. I know that doesn't make much sense. Sorry.
Let me share a few details about 1 of the decisions:
I visited a 2 year old little girl last week that is supposed to become my foster daughter soon. In the 30 minutes we spent with her, Madi, Lauren, and I all fell in LOVE with her. We are SOOOO excited for her to come. Although she is involved medically, it is not severe, and there is not a lot of social history or time involvement in that area.
I just got a call a little bit ago, that they need a place for a 9 year old little girl with more severe medical conditions, and they are therefore limited in the places they can place her, as well as it is MUCH harder to find placements for older kids vs. little kids. She has a lot of social involvement, as well as lots of trips to doctors appts that will be about 45 min. away from where we live.
I told them that I wanted to stay with the 2 year old. But now I feel selfish and unsure. I KNOW that the 2 year old would be better for my family, and my family really needs a break from stressful and time consuming situations. I know that the 2 year old is the best choice for my family. BUT I feel bad saying "no" to the 9 year old. She needs a home too. What if she doesn't know Christ, and I could have the chance to introduce Him to her. ARGHH. Sometimes I really think I should just find a way to run my own children's home - lol.
Seriously though, please pray for me and for God to show me clearly what I should do, and to give me a peace about it.
thanks!
3 comments:
Shauna - God isn't about "guilt". I think the wisest thing is to consider your family dynamics as you have done. Love you.
I totally agree with Doni! After you just came from a stressful time, it really is okay to take a rest and make sure that all is well with your family before undertaking another stressful time.
God knows which of those two girls will end up in your home. Your job is to rest in His peace and know that both children are in HIS hands. I know that our first placements have been hand picked, just as my family has been hand picked for the foster children. Just as you were created to be your husband's help meet, and you alone can do that job. Don't you love serving a God that IS into details!
~Audrey
p.s. I look forward to hearing the outcome!
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